Official Zombie Apocalypse Thread

[Five_X]

Well, we don't have one yet, and it's pretty much internet law to have at least one. So here it is! Speculate on the coming zombie outbreak, and share your zombie plans. I'll post mine soon.

[Kiskaloo]

I plan to nuke the site(s) from orbit...


...it's the only way to be sure.

[MikhailN]

My plan? First, quarantine the site. Then donate it to the Army for live-fire exercises and weapons testing. Then lease the land to China for their recently-announced space-based weapons programme.

Hey, if you're going to blow up the site, might as well make some money doing it, right?

[tsundere9kagami2]

wait.....didnt we already have one...?

I thought all forums had one of these threads?

[Five_X]

Well, I'm talking about a gloabal scale apocalypse. It's not really an apocalypse if it isn't worldwide.

And no, there is no other zombie thread here. I found that odd.

[tsundere9kagami2]

OHHHHH MINDFUCK!!!!! how can this forum not have had one there is one in every forum I go to!!!! Im gonna vomit a hamster!

[Five_X]

Well, there's one now. So stop regurgitating pet animals.

[SPARTAN 119]

Well, I would probably locate the nearest automatic weapon and/or grenade launcher and/or flamethrower and/or rocket launcher. Zombies come in hordes, so why not blow em all away in one shot.


Until I find some serious firepower, I'll have to stick to one or more of the following weapons I have in my house:

Knives
a large axe
a small axe
hammers (assorted)
shovels
rakes
hoes
Molotov cocktails (some assembly required)

Also, a short walk to the neighbor's house (judging from the number of people on my street, should be no more than 10-15 zombies in my way, probably less) will get me to:
More assorted melee weapons
A longbow
A shotgun


Also, probably the best place to hold up from a zombie apocalypse in my hometown is not the mall (as per zombie movie cliche), the best place is Wal-Mart: guns, tools, sporting goods, all the materials for Molotov cocktails, and anything else you could use as a weapon. Plus, fewer entrances for the zombies to get in than a mall.

[Five_X]

Actually, I'd use a revolver or a pump-action shotgun. Both are very reliable, and I own a shotgun. A fully automatic weapon, like an assault rifle, would be terribly overrated in a zombie apocalypse, as would a grenade launcher, rocket launcher or flamethrower. All of those use hard to aquire ammunition types, compared to good ol' 12 gauge. Plus, it'd be hard to find one in the first place. And, they're more difficult to maintain than a more easily obtained firearm, like the aforementioned pump action shotgun. A crowbar, of course, would be a great weapon more more silent kills, as would a modern hunting crossbow. Not a longbow, mind you. Most people couldn't even shoot an arrow twenty metres with one of those. They're a highly skilled weapon, which should be avoided. If you haven't found out yet, I'm pretty serious on the whole zombie invasion thing. Most likely because I'm writing a novel on the subject. Definitely not a Zombieland, to say the least.

So, best weapon combo would likely be a pump-action shotgun (these are, of course, common hunting guns, and most large police forces carry them as well. Plus, if you're like me, you may have inherited one or have a close relative that owns one. They're rather common) with both various buckshot shells and slugs. As well as a large to medium sized crowbar.

On less serious note, I discovered how to make a chainsaw viable, involving its use as a bayonet. I'll dig up the whole thing I wrote, and I'll type it out here. WARNING: It is long, and was originally written as an essay (Yes, that's the kind of stuff I write about for essays. The teacher accepts them all the same), so I'll try to make it better for casual reading.

[Alfisti]

My zombie apocralypse plan is simple: me + boat... probably something like an S & S 34:



Not fast, not glamourous but... well there's a reason S&S designs find so much favor with single-handers. They're tough, easy to maintain... it's got a decent length fin keel so it should be able to heave-to properly (full length keel would be better). Not to mention the 34' has a skeg-rudder (whoever thought the idea of making a rudder without a skeg was a moron) and a tiller rather than a wheel... so less to break and a tiller is just so much nicer to use. Add that the engine is mounted amid-ships so it's easy to get to and doesn't need one of those bloody "S-drive" style legs.

Add a wind generator, solar panels, de-sal unit and some self steering gear and I'll be set

[Nachtsider]

1. Evacuate uninfected population to secure bunkers
2. Quarantine outbreak areas
3. Deploy over 9000 AC-130 gunships
4. Follow with chopper-borne troops in hazmat gear, armed with high-precision, scoped assault rifles
5. ?????
6. FLAWLESS VICTOLY

[Five_X]

Eh, very nice plan, Nacht! I can't wait to see that Flawless Victoly.

[LoC978]

whatever did happen to the old 'zombie plan' thread? we had some good stuff in there.

as for me, if it were to happen tonight, I'd be strapping my double-wrap sword belt around my black suit (I just came back from a wedding), loading my largest backpack (the biggest damn bag Camelback makes, incidentally) full of 12 gauge shells, .22LR and .45ACP, strapping my one longarm and three handguns in those calibers to my body, and heading out the door in the direction of my old unit's motor pool, Heron-mark blade in hand.

...ideally I want a sound suppressed Kriss SBR/SO and a nice tactical vest (at least 6 30-round mag pouches and a quick release harness for the weapon) to go with it, as well as a crossed bandoleer to go over the top holding 12 gauge shells in front and two frogs for my heron-mark and my 36" wrecking bar in back.
...then I could fill the backpack with MREs and bottled water.

as for the rest of civilization... well, thats where my handcrank-powered AM/FM radio/flashlight comes into play. I'll keep tabs on the airwaves from my newly acquired ski lodge.
If the world goes to hell over the few months I can survive on what I've stolen/scrounged on my way up the mountain, I'll head north and try to find a garden supply store to loot on the way... hopefully I can find somewhere with high wrought-iron fencing designed to keep people out (I've been scouting locations off and on for years now) with enough fertile ground to support myself and a few friends.
If civilization pulls through and begins the recovery process, I'll be flying the old Brigade stars and stripes from the roof of my lodge and listening on every frequency I can remember on a SINCGARS (hopefully mounted into the truck, but most likely jury-rigged into a couple of car batteries).

[MikhailN]

whatever did happen to the old 'zombie plan' thread? we had some good stuff in there.

as for me, if it were to happen tonight, I'd be strapping my double-wrap sword belt around my black suit (I just came back from a wedding), loading my largest backpack (the biggest damn bag Camelback makes, incidentally) full of 12 gauge shells, .22LR and .45ACP, strapping my one longarm and three handguns in those calibers to my body, and heading out the door in the direction of my old unit's motor pool, Heron-mark blade in hand.

...ideally I want a sound suppressed Kriss SBR/SO and a nice tactical vest (at least 6 30-round mag pouches and a quick release harness for the weapon) to go with it, as well as a crossed bandoleer to go over the top holding 12 gauge shells in front and two frogs for my heron-mark and my 36" wrecking bar in back.
...then I could fill the backpack with MREs and bottled water.

as for the rest of civilization... well, thats where my handcrank-powered AM/FM radio/flashlight comes into play. I'll keep tabs on the airwaves from my newly acquired ski lodge.
If the world goes to hell over the few months I can survive on what I've stolen/scrounged on my way up the mountain, I'll head north and try to find a garden supply store to loot on the way... hopefully I can find somewhere with high wrought-iron fencing designed to keep people out (I've been scouting locations off and on for years now) with enough fertile ground to support myself and a few friends.
If civilization pulls through and begins the recovery process, I'll be flying the old Brigade stars and stripes from the roof of my lodge and listening on every frequency I can remember on a SINCGARS (hopefully mounted into the truck, but most likely jury-rigged into a couple of car batteries).

You sound like you were planning all this. If ever the world goes to hell I'm going to drop by your place, if I'm still sane that is.

Most of my military stuff is packed and ready to go (just in case I get called up). As for weapons I got an evil-looking parang (basically a long machete for working through dense jungle). The rest relies on luck, Providence and whatever stuff I can remember from the damn survival courses

[SPARTAN 119]

Actually, I'd use a revolver or a pump-action shotgun. Both are very reliable, and I own a shotgun. A fully automatic weapon, like an assault rifle, would be terribly overrated in a zombie apocalypse, as would a grenade launcher, rocket launcher or flamethrower. All of those use hard to aquire ammunition types, compared to good ol' 12 gauge. Plus, it'd be hard to find one in the first place. And, they're more difficult to maintain than a more easily obtained firearm, like the aforementioned pump action shotgun. A crowbar, of course, would be a great weapon more more silent kills, as would a modern hunting crossbow. Not a longbow, mind you. Most people couldn't even shoot an arrow twenty metres with one of those. They're a highly skilled weapon, which should be avoided. If you haven't found out yet, I'm pretty serious on the whole zombie invasion thing. Most likely because I'm writing a novel on the subject. Definitely not a Zombieland, to say the least.

So, best weapon combo would likely be a pump-action shotgun (these are, of course, common hunting guns, and most large police forces carry them as well. Plus, if you're like me, you may have inherited one or have a close relative that owns one. They're rather common) with both various buckshot shells and slugs. As well as a large to medium sized crowbar.

On less serious note, I discovered how to make a chainsaw viable, involving its use as a bayonet. I'll dig up the whole thing I wrote, and I'll type it out here. WARNING: It is long, and was originally written as an essay (Yes, that's the kind of stuff I write about for essays. The teacher accepts them all the same), so I'll try to make it better for casual reading.

Don't get me wrong, I probably would keep my shotgun/crowbar/pistol/whatever, but if I were to run into a dead and/or zombified soldier with say an M16/M203, M249 SAW, or Milkor MGL, then I'd probably take it (after re-killing the owner if he's zombified, sling my shotgun over my back or stuff it in y backpack if it's a sawed-off and use it 'till I run out of ammo, Then, I'd probably just throw it aside and go back to my shotty. Also, if he had an AT4 rocket launcher, If there was a zombie horde nearby, I'd just grab it and fire into the crowd, if not, I'd probably leave it. On second thought, I'd probably not bother with the flamethrower, too much risk of self-immolation.

The two things I'd definitely take if i found a dead/zombified soldier, however, are his Kevlar vest and helmet (might save you from a bite to the chest or shoulder, even if I do look ridiculous in a partial military uniform and part civilian clothing) and any hand grenades and Claymore mines he might have on him: great horde-removal tools in a small package!

[rusty-spring]

whatever did happen to the old 'zombie plan' thread? we had some good stuff in there.

No clue. I also remember the old zombie thread from a while back. Probably eaten by the forum gremlins.

If there was a zombie apocalypse, I'll tell you what I'd do. Rule #17 - Be A Hero. That's right, I'd roam the country side saving cute girls from the hoardes of undead with badassery as my sidekick. Preferably I'd drive around in a giant SUV with a top mounted minigun and millions of rounds of ammunition. "Nut up, or shut up."

.....

However, that's just my "fun" plan. A realistic plan would involve aquiring reliable means of defense and rugged transportation. Such as a 12 gauge shotgun or semi-auto rifle, a handgun, and lastly either a small hand axe or crowbar.

One thing I can be sure of is that I probably wouldn't play the lone wolf, even if that's safer in the long run. I'm one of those people that more than likely would be driven insane by long periods of isolation. So yeah, part of my very first plan was right. I'd probably go out of my way to gather a group. Being alone in a world of munchers would be major suckage. I'd probably have to keep sane by finding imaginative and amusing ways of dispatching zombies.

Just remember to always check the back seat.

[KodokuRyuu]

whatever did happen to the old 'zombie plan' thread? we had some good stuff in there.

No clue. I also remember the old zombie thread from a while back. Probably eaten by the forum gremlins.

Yeah, I remember at least one thread on zombies if not two. Plus I think there was also a thread that degraded into zombie discussions. But who knows what happens to such threads after people stop looking at them. If a tree falls in a forest and all that, I guess.

One thing I can be sure of is that I probably wouldn't play the lone wolf, even if that's safer in the long run.

Yeah, a group sounds good, assuming they're all of high zombie dispatching abilities. If they can't hold their own in a battle, it's just too dangerous trying to protect them. When the zombie apocalypse starts up, everybody get on this forum and we'll coordinate meeting up in Montana (nobody lives there so it'll be zombie free). I figure the folks here have a better idea of how to fight zombies than most, so our best chances are by sticking together.

[LoC978]

When the zombie apocalypse starts up, everybody get on this forum and we'll coordinate meeting up in Montana (nobody lives there so it'll be zombie free). I figure the folks here have a better idea of how to fight zombies than most, so our best chances are by sticking together.

...the south shore of Lake Fort Peck looks relatively defensible, mountainous terrain and all that... I'd be worried about food there, though...

most places with any sort of structure there are in the middle of population centers... Montana looks a lot like Europe that way... only two kinds of areas. tracts of uninhabited land, or dense population centers.

thus far, the best things I've found are prisons... though not in Montana, as they tend to be right in the middle of population centers (seriously, WTF?). The prison outside Pendleton, OR seems fairly secure... but the grounds are most likely infertile, and on the off chance that the entire inmate and guard population isn't infected, there could possibly be a moral issue with clearing the place out.
...no luck so far in finding an old fashioned asylum with its own fenced-in park...

[sasahara17]

Are the Max Brooks books any good? It says stay away from cities and stuff, and since I'm in Singapore right now, so it's ALL urban enviroment for me (surrounded by water).

No gun, overcrouded city, problem getting off the island...

Unless the government can get a handle on an outbreak, I'm basically in ALOT of trouble aren't I?

[MikhailN]

Are the Max Brooks books any good? It says stay away from cities and stuff, and since I'm in Singapore right now, so it's ALL urban enviroment for me (surrounded by water).

No gun, overcrouded city, problem getting off the island...

Unless the government can get a handle on an outbreak, I'm basically in ALOT of trouble aren't I?

Singapore? Two words: You're screwed

[Nachtsider]

Eh, very nice plan, Nacht! I can't wait to see that Flawless Victoly.

It will come.

My opinion on the whole zombie apocalypse thing is that most people are seriously underestimating the effects that a military 'storm of steel' would have on the hordes. As entertaining as the whole Battle of Yonkers thing seems, it's not realistic - if there is even a half competent commander in charge the infantry won't really have to come face to face with the undead. An artillery barrage, air strike, etc will decimate the undead before they come close. Attack helicopters can destroy zombies with impunity. The only real problem about the outbreak is making sure it doesn't spread anymore. Tanks can crush them underneath their tracks and blow them up with their main guns plus travelling at 40 mph they cannot hope to be pursued effectively by zombies.

Now then. About Singapore. Remember that zombies can decompose. In colder regions they can survive for quite a long time, but near the equator, where humidity and heat is quite high? Won't
be long before they're part of the soil. Just sit tight in your bunkers; what the boys in Number Fours don't destroy, Mother Nature will.

[sasahara17]

Singapore? Two words: You're screwed

Gee, thanks for the support Mik. When the undead hordes eat me, I'll be sure to think of your sound advice XD.

Now then. About Singapore. Remember that zombies can decompose. In colder regions they can survive for quite a long time, but near the equator, where humidity and heat is quite high? Won't
be long before they're part of the soil. Just sit tight in your bunkers; what the boys in Number Fours don't destroy, Mother Nature will.

Problem is Nacht, I'm gonna BE one of thouse guys in those Number 4s fighting the infection. Hopefully the guys at the top are smart and get us to use all these nice tall HDB apartments and office buildings as cover after someone (homefully not me) clears them out. I don't want to have a starring role in Max Brook's Yonkers... and at least there, you'd have SOMEWHERE to run to.

On street level, I'd say we'd lose 'pretty badly'. But hey, as long as we clear out them buildings, destroy those stairs and hold out, we should be okay... I think.

As a aide not, as anyone watched Discovery Channel's 'The Colony'? I found it pretty interesting in seeing a simulation about getting the basics done (No tips on zombie killing tho').

[SPARTAN 119]

Eh, very nice plan, Nacht! I can't wait to see that Flawless Victoly.

It will come.

My opinion on the whole zombie apocalypse thing is that most people are seriously underestimating the effects that a military 'storm of steel' would have on the hordes. As entertaining as the whole Battle of Yonkers thing seems, it's not realistic - if there is even a half competent commander in charge the infantry won't really have to come face to face with the undead. An artillery barrage, air strike, etc will decimate the undead before they come close. Attack helicopters can destroy zombies with impunity. The only real problem about the outbreak is making sure it doesn't spread anymore. Tanks can crush them underneath their tracks and blow them up with their main guns plus travelling at 40 mph they cannot hope to be pursued effectively by zombies.

Now then. About Singapore. Remember that zombies can decompose. In colder regions they can survive for quite a long time, but near the equator, where humidity and heat is quite high? Won't
be long before they're part of the soil. Just sit tight in your bunkers; what the boys in Number Fours don't destroy, Mother Nature will.

Yeah, we probably won't need to resort to Kisk's nuke the sight from orbit idea, Just send in the B-52s, A-10s, howitzers, MLRS, Apaches, Abrams, LAVs, Bradleys etc.

Also, at least in theory, if they find survivors, the military shouldn't kill them off with the zombies if they can avoid it, anybody with an immunity to the zombie virus or whatever would be useful for research into preventing another outbreak.

And, on an only somewhat related not, I played the Left 4 Dead 2 Demo yesterday and , , Only 11 days 'till it comes out, too.

[SPARTAN 119]

whatever did happen to the old 'zombie plan' thread? we had some good stuff in there.

No clue. I also remember the old zombie thread from a while back. Probably eaten by the forum gremlins.

If there was a zombie apocalypse, I'll tell you what I'd do. Rule #17 - Be A Hero. That's right, I'd roam the country side saving cute girls from the hoardes of undead with badassery as my sidekick. Preferably I'd drive around in a giant SUV with a top mounted minigun and millions of rounds of ammunition. "Nut up, or shut up."

.....

Yeah, If I was holding out with a few survivors from a zombie apocalypse, I'd want to be something like this group.






(Pics from the "Girls with Guns" and "Kiskaloo's OCs" threads)

And thats because:

[LoC978]

My opinion on the whole zombie apocalypse thing is that most people are seriously underestimating the effects that a military 'storm of steel' would have on the hordes. As entertaining as the whole Battle of Yonkers thing seems, it's not realistic - if there is even a half competent commander in charge the infantry won't really have to come face to face with the undead. An artillery barrage, air strike, etc will decimate the undead before they come close. Attack helicopters can destroy zombies with impunity. The only real problem about the outbreak is making sure it doesn't spread anymore. Tanks can crush them underneath their tracks and blow them up with their main guns plus travelling at 40 mph they cannot hope to be pursued effectively by zombies.

it's true, if entire military units remain intact after the outbreak is widely known... quarantine and cleansing by fire would happen, ending the apocalypse early...

but what happens if the outbreak is quiet, mostly unreported for weeks? perhaps a sick, irrational youngster is taken into custody in front of a military base, and he bites three soldiers before he's subdued? Perhaps a few minutes later those soldiers bite everyone at the medical facility they're taken to for treatment?
I say the biggest deciding factor for zombie outbreak vs. zombie apocalypse is just how quickly the alarm bells are rung. There's not a lot even a military base can do against the horde if it shows up on their doorstep without warning.






...
@holing up with a bunch'o women:
I must admit, the thought of pulling out Ahnold's old "Come with me if you want to live" line at a bunch of local strip clubs had occurred to me...

[Five_X]

So, in my opinion, the zombie outbreak could get outta hand incredibly easily. First off, zombies are fictional creatures. Though people (like us) do prepare and think about such creatures, the vast majority does not. Most likely, regular people, and especially the government, would pass off such things as fake, and put them to the side. Just look at all of the stuff they have to deal with now. They simply couldn't deal with foreign affairs AND a possibly fictional virus outbreak at the same time. Methinks that in our capitalist society, money and war would come before a zombie outbreak on a government's to-do list. They absolutely could not just drop all of their issues in other countries and focus on one event.

Also, it's highly likely that the zombie virus would go unreported for a long time. If it happened in a developed country it might not be too long, but elsewhere it could be weeks, even months. If, for example, the virus originated in the middle of Africa, it would be largely ignored. Viruses are commonplace there, and reports of people becoming feral and biting others would be passed off as a variant of rabies. So, it would likely be after thousands of people had been infected that it would become news. Plus, there's the fact that the zombie virus would likely be incurable and irreversible, as it would be a new virus entirely, not a new strain of an existing virus.

And if it did happen in a highly developed area, it wouldn't take too long to spread. It would find its way into the hydro system, and would infect not only people who drink the infected water, but also all of those people that swim in it, or otherwise place themselves in a position where their bodily fluids would come into contact with the water. There would be tens, even hundreds, of thousands of infected people, and no zombies. Until the virus fully took hold, and then there would be an instantaneous outbreak of ridiculous amounts of zombies. By then, it would be impossible to stop, especially if the third world countries had also been hit. Mighty as the military is, it takes a while to move people around, and only an unthinkably large army could stop hundreds of thousands of zombies. Because you can only truly kill them with a headshot, and how many people, trained to fight humans, would override their previous training and remember that in a situation where the living dead are shambling toward you? I say that the population of our species would be reduced to extremely low numbers, if not almost entirely wiped out.

[West Nile]

Well given that my family runs the shipping industry here, will be me living on a cargo ship for the next few years then.

given that zombies can't swim. they can't right?

right?

FLOATER!!! (Left 4 Dead reference)

[sasahara17]

Max Brooks detailed a very real possibility of floating zombies thanks to the wonders of life jackets. Hordes of bobbing zombies in bright orange life jackets in the Pacific.

Scariest thing ever.

[Nachtsider]

Problem is Nacht, I'm gonna BE one of thouse guys in those Number 4s fighting the infection. Hopefully the guys at the top are smart and get us to use all these nice tall HDB apartments and office buildings as cover after someone (homefully not me) clears them out.

Oops. Looks like I forgot all about that.

Look on the bright side, though, man. The SAF's geared pretty well for urban. Plus, long-to-medium range headshots should be fairly easy with those integral scopes on the SARs. Not to mention the laser pointers. Put the dot on the target and BAM. I think you'd be on equal footing with Todd Wainio and his SIR.

Now then. About sea zombies. World War Z's entertainment value aside, the scenario makes no sense whatsoever. Seawater is teeming with bacteria and other microbes, especially near the ocean floor. How the hell the zombies do not succumb to the usual routine of accelerated decomposition in seawater I cannot even begin to understand. And don't even get me started on the insane water pressure on the seabed.

[Germanzombie]

Are the Max Brooks books any good? It says stay away from cities and stuff, and since I'm in Singapore right now, so it's ALL urban enviroment for me (surrounded by water).

I love the Max Brook books alot, all 2 of them. The first one is the survival handbook and that book is much more light hearted and humorous while still being very valid as a survival handbook for zombies. The second one is really pretty dark and bleak which I wasn't expecting but really liked. Either way if you at all like zombies I would read The Zombie Survival Handbook, and if you like darker fiction I would read World War Z, which should start filming in a few months if all the legal stuff has gone through .

Now what I would do in a zombie apocalypse is go from my apartment with my swords and baseball bats, and go to one of the dorms on my college campus and watch Darwin take effect upon all of the people who didn't see this coming. Really not much of a plan after that but I feel that even if I died after that I would be pretty content so it happens, but I think I would try and go out zip-lining from one building to another because I have always wanted to do that, and with zombies around no one would really try and stop me. And then maybe I can help my zombie brethren.

[West Nile]

Max Brooks detailed a very real possibility of floating zombies thanks to the wonders of life jackets. Hordes of bobbing zombies in bright orange life jackets in the Pacific.

Scariest thing ever.

get's them floathing zombies everytime

...I've found a replacement for my Heron-mark for survival situations. My sword is nice, but it can't do this: