SWA TV--A Cyborg Central GsG AU

In the year 20XX, a brand-new international television network by the name of Special World Access TV was launched in Italy. Founded by billionaire Pieri Lorenzo, SWA TV is a fledgling Cable and Satellite channel with a variety of programs broadcast worldwide in several different languages; however its core audiences receive their programming in either English or Italian with appropriate dubbing or subtitles where available. SWA TV plays host to a variety of programs and shows, ranging from news programs, to sports coverage, to educational and entertainment shows of various genres. The cast of its programs is equally diverse, with an international ensemble of hosts, actors, and actresses creating the spearhead of SWA TV's strong primetime lineup. One of their most popular shows is Top Gear Italy, an offshoot of the popular BBC motoring program, but with twice the hosts, and consequently, twice the mayhem and shenanigans. In addition, some of the hosts of Top Gear Italy also have their own separate shows on SWA TV, as seen in the following example:

Wrench Wenches--hosted by Top Gear Italy presenter Allison McDonnell and her fellow accomplice/master mechanic/vehicle enthusiast Elizabeth Schneider, Wrench Wenches follows the female duo as they take vintage and modern classic cars, trucks, and motorcycles and restore them to their former glory, tune them, or make them over into something completely unique and over the top before selling them, racing them, or showing them off. The show caters to anyone who loves anything with wheels and an engine, and many of the creations featured in their show make frequent appearances in public, with some of them even sold at auction for charity. Here's a preview of the sort of madness that typically ensues on an episode of Wrench Wenches:

Allison McDonnell: Now you may be wondering what exactly we plan to do with this pokey little 1969 Fiat 500F that we bought for a pittance of €1,500 Euro...

Elizabeth Schneider: Well, cars like the 500 were meant to get people off of motorcycles and scooters after the Second World War, though in reality, these small city cars often had more or less the same amount of power as most of those motorcycles. Which gave us an idea...

Allison: What we're going to do is stuff some American muscle into our cute little 500. However, as you can see, even a small-block V8 would eat up most of the space in this car! What we need is something a little closer to this car's two-cylinder roots...

Eliza: And when it comes to American two-cylinder muscle, few names are more recognized than Harley-Davidson. That's right, we're going to shove a Harley V-Twin into the back of our 500 and reinforce the chassis to create a one-of-a-kind Cinquecento that can tear up a hillclimb with aplomb and advertise its presence on the streets of Rome, telling the world it's not to be messed with.

Allison: Here's hoping that when all is said and done, we can turn our little pocket monster around for some serious cash!

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As you can see, this thread is ripe for ideas. Post some ideas for TV shows starring your favorite cyborgs here!

Kaboom Room with B.B. and Bernardo-- Special Effects mistress Beatrice 'B.B.' Biancardi and former Italian Army Combat Engineer Bernardo Lamberti combine forces and a total of forty years explosives experience to explore the science and physics of all forms of demolition and destruction using the scientific method. Each episode explores a given situation or destructive phenomena by replicating the circumstances, conducting an experiment, and if necessary, finding a means to create the intended result. In addition, advice and instruction that ordinary people can use to safeguard themselves from the effects of certain situations and phenomena is offered and tested with the watchful supervision of qualified individuals and experts. Kaboom Room is often noted for gratuitous amounts of Stuff Blowing Up(TM) in addition to teaching practical preventative lessons for many of the situations featured in the show. As many of their experiments involve explosives and other hazardous materials, each episode is kicked off with the following disclaimer:

Beatrice: Bernardo and I have a combined forty years of explosives handling experience under our belts. It's safe to say that we know what we're doing on this show, and we supplement our own experience with the watchful eye and know-how of other experts, medical, fire, and law enforcement personnel, just in case.

Bernardo: You,(pointing at the camera, and the viewer by proxy) on the other hand, might not have a clue as to how this stuff works. So please do not attempt any of our experiments at home. It's much safer and enjoyable for me and B.B. to do the work while you watch the results.

Beatrice: Of course, if you must insist, these gentlemen (Camera pans to a duty-ready NOCS team with weapons bristling) will gladly show up at your doorstep to dissuade you.

"Azure Thing" - Michele and Kara travel the continent to showcase the top restaurants and hotels. The title is a play on "A Sure Thing" and that they would be driving a Bentley Azure T convertible.

or

"Continental Divide" - Think "Oz and James's Big Wine Adventure" for BBC Two. Michele and Kara use a Bentley Continental GTC to visit the great wine growing regions of Italy, France, Germany and Spain and debate the merits of the various vintages they sample.  Michele favors Italy and Spain, while Kara prefers France and Germany.

I was thinking that with TG UK's recent demise (even if the Beeb says it's not dead), I would like to re-explore the concept of Top Gear Italy as its own canon, in an alternate universe under the Special World Access TV channel. Here's what I had in mind:

About Top Gear Italy:
Launched in 20XX after acquiring licensing from the BBC, Top Gear Italy is the latest localized spin-off of the popular BBC2 motoring programme. As the first international edition of Top Gear to feature an all-female cast of presenters, Top Gear Italy also boasts the largest cast of regular presenters thus far, with a total of six presenters (plus a female 'Tamed Racing Driver' known as 'The Stigette'), nearly all of whom actively host or have hosted other projects outside of Top Gear Italy. Presenter count can occasionally change between episodes due to prior engagements, however audiences can generally count on at least three presenters in the roster being in the studio per episode, with some segments filmed by absent presenters being shown regardless of whom is hosting in any episode. The show follows the standard Top Gear Format of reviews, challenges, Power Laps, and the occasional road trip. Each episode is presented in English audio with Italian subtitles. Episodes air every Saturday at 17:00 CET.

Top Gear Italy is hosted by Kara Delaroux (Continental Divide, Una Cosa Azzurata), Claes Johannson (Published!, La Storia Della Guerra), Laine Stanaway (Off The Beaten Path, La Barchetta Rossa con Allison e Laine), Allison McDonnell (Wrench Wenches, La Barchetta Rossa con Allison e Laine), Triela Hartmann (Triela Raids The Toy Chest, Prezzo Nostalgico), and Petrushka Ricci (Fancy Footwork, Due Piedi Sinistri).

SURVIVE!! with world renowned rugged expert Alpha Lautani.

With this series, resident expert Alpha Lautani will guide you through the most dire situations you could possibly be in and show you just how you can.....

Tea time with Tea, or how to wow your friends and teach your enemies a lesson over tea and cakes.  I will teach you how to make the best teas from around the world including, earl grey, green tea, milk tea, and yak milk tea (reserved only for your worst enemies).  The best tea's need the best treats, canolis, red bean sweets, cookies, cupcakes, rice cakes, and enough sugar to give you a diabetic coma.

An idea that just popped into my head.

The story of a modern italian maid

Tea (on tv)- I loved my sister dearly but they can be such a handful at times.  Now I didn't want to be mean but they needed to learn a lesson.  A maid must be gentle so pressure points are an appropriate disciplinary tool, maximum pain with minimum effort. There are also so many that they are hard to defend against.

Garcia- Fabiola what are you watching.......

Fabiola- um well.... You see..... (While trying to cover the screen)

Tea- due to the padiana threatitalywas no longer a peaceful place for a delicate female flower waiting to blossom, and my dearest alpha wants a woman who can protect herself.  Gothic maid fashion was not the in style at the time but the many layers and ruffles lend itself to hiding a variety of weapons.  Knives in the boots, and you never have to worry about breaking a heel, the garter belt can carry grenades and other pyrotechnic surprises, but remember to be clear when they explode, long hair to hide a pump action grenade launcher for those dirty mafioso, oh and a nice parasol to protect yourself from the sun and it makes a great anti cartel shotgun.

Garcia- wtf is this

Fabiola- I um ... Well Roberta wasn't teaching. Me how to protect you or be a maid so I had to learn somewhere

Roberta- squee.... Tea the maid is on..... Pay attention Fabiola I leanred everything I know about being a maid from her.....

Garcia- ..... Sadly this explains a lot..... Hhmmmm...... Do you think she would be a good addition girls.... 

Roberta/ Fabiola-  yes!!!!!

Garcia- me and my big mouth

"Two Men (and a Woman) in A Boat" (provisional)
Genre: Comedy/Documentary

(2001: A Space Oddysey theme, while climbing up to a trio's group of faces)
In 1885, Jerome K. Jerome wrote his exploits on his and two friends' trip down the River Thames, dubbed "Three Men in A Boat". 

In 2006, Dara Ó Briain, Rory McGrath and Griff Rhys Jones recreated this idea for a television series, and expanded on it.

Now, in 20XX, it's these three who get their turn...although there is just one problem.

(needle scratch, focus on Jamiebel)
Jamiebel: What? Can't a girl go on a trip, too?

("Three Men in A Boat" theme)
Join Frédéric Loeb, Jim Eligino and Jamiebel Angkahan, as they sail to exotic destinations all over Europe on as many traditional boats that people are stupid enough to lend them...
Frédéric: Mind the pole!
(the currach gently taps the pole)

...as they sail from the Highlands and Islands of Scotland...

(while sailing along the River Clyde)
Jim: It's an unending tapestry of incredibly beautiful, rugged islands!

...to Venice's Grand Canal...
Jamiebel: Uno! Due! Come on, ladies, we can beat these men! Row faster!

And from the Balkans of Montenegro and Serbia...
Frédéric: It's looking wonderful!
Jim: (laughs) I can't bear to watch!

...to Cornwall...
Jamiebel: We don't make aspirational telly, do we, guys?

...they try not to embarrass each other.
Jim and Jamiebel: (chanting) Who are ya? Who are ya? Who are ya?
Jamiebel: Bring on the poet!
(Frédéric charges up the coliseum audience wall to J+J)
Jamiebel: It's escaping! It's escaping!
Jim: Comedian escaping, comedian escaping from the arena!
(J+J, laughing, scarper to higher seats)
Jim: Don't break the Fourth Wall, Frédéric! It's bad for telly!

Frédéric: TOP O' THE MORNING T'YA, JIM!
(Jim, while trying to get a boat turned around, gets distracted by Frédéric and falls backwards.)
Jim: Aïe!
(Frédéric and Jamiebel laugh, as Jamiebel pays the former 20 euro)
Jamiebel: Best 20€ I ever paid!

Jamiebel: (to an audience) Very good with the Ooh-ah, there!
Jim: (in said audience) Ooh-argh!
(Jamiebel laughs)

On the way, they'll endure self-propelled railway transportation, going native in kilts for the toughest games in all of the UK, a train back to London, rain, rain, more rain, rowing perfection...

(in a rowing competition)
Frédéric: (to Jim and Jamiebel) Backs into it! Backs! Put your backs and row like crazy! Row on!

...coming under attack while trying to sleep...

(while fireworks are launched, unbeknownst to our trio)
Jamiebel: (with her hands up) Alright! We surrender! Don’t shoot!

...and Jim blagging and poncing his way to free alcohol... as they try to experience some of the greatest treasures humans can forsee.

“Labo D'Homme de Frédéric Loeb” (English Title: “Frédéric Loeb's Man Lab”) [Based on "James May's Man Lab"]

Genre: Informative, comedy
Starring: Frédéric Loeb, Jim Eligino (latter being Frédéric's assistant, and Italian voice actor for Frédéric and himself)
Air times: Tuesdays (English), Thursdays (Italian) and Saturdays (French);
3:00pm (Man Lab – Italian voices), 6:00pm (Man Lab – English voices, Italian subtitles) and 7:00pm (Labo D'Homme – French voices)

Frédéric: (voiceover) “Man Lab is an emergency service, on call to jump-start the stalled evolution of man. It's a man's base camp for an epic assault on the north face of Mont Post-Moderne; a repository of ingenuity and invention, from which man will emerge blinking, but triumphant; armed with only a decent tool kit and a slim volume of English - and French - poetry. It's the modern face of the gentleman's club, where things get done properly, and are followed by a proper pint of stout. In short, this series - and this alone - will sweep away the confusion that has reigned since the dreadful dawn of moisturizer and the male makeover. End of mission statement.”

(Cut to slow-mo shot of Frédéric shouting, “Yes!”)

- Frédéric's opening monologue of episode one.