HALP! I'm surrounded by...

Narutards

So today at university I limped to my 'Games & Simulation' class; coughing, spluttering and vomiting from the bloody flu. I sat down at the comp as usual.
Nothing special was happening, we were all just waiting for the tutor to arrive. Then someone mentioned something about "Naruto figurines".

My friend, being an animu obsessed person as she was, instantly perked her ears and whipped her head around.

"I have figurines too!!!"

Then it somehow exploded into some chaotic mess of scary fangirl screaming and showing each other cosplay pictures.
Pretty soon, about 50% of the class jumped up and joined in. Oh gosh, the overly enthusiastic high-pitched Naruto/mainstream animu babble...

"WTF?!?!" Was my reaction. I seriously wanted ask; "Are any of you Yaoi fangirls?!" and then run out of the room and hide in the corner somewhere.

Some other guy sitting 2 seats away from me had a similar reaction; "Oh no, not Naruto", but then he proceeded to to put on his headphone and watch Zero Punctuation instead.


"ORLY?? YOU GUISE WATCH ANIMU TOO?!?"

"YES, I LURRRRVEEE JAPANESE ANIMATION!!!!"

"HAVE YOU WATCHED BLEACH?!?! FULL METAL BLAH BLAH?!?! [Insert fucking mainstream animu here]"

Wow, now with a name like 'Games & Simulation' you gotta expect some geeks to be in the class, but damn...

Now, I don't mind some enthusiastic animu talk, but why the hell did it have to be Naruto?!?! Seriously, it makes ANYONE who watches animu look bad. And whats with the super enthusiastic yelling? Well, no wonder people think animu fans are retarded, sheesh... I mean, at least talk about something less mainsteam?!?!


Note: I have exaggerated some stuff, but it did happen.

Nuke and the rest of us were in chat, and he was talking about the time he was at an anime convention. He was cosplaying someone from Prince of Tennis, and while walking past a Naruto live-action roleplay session, one of the Narutards threw a kunai knife that hit him in the face.

You'd think that would've been terrible, but Nuke relished it - if only because there was no lasting damage, and it gave him the perfect opportunity to beat the shit out of a Narutard. What happened next was the incomparable sight of a ninja being chased, pinned down and beaned by a tennis player, with his racket. Good times.

If such a chance comes your way, TAKE IT.

Eh, there's no way I could do that. I'm basically skin and bone.

But if you had a tennis racket?

Whatface wrote:Wow, now with a name like 'Games & Simulation' you gotta expect some geeks to be in the class, but damn...

They're not geeks. They damage the good geek name

But seriously, over here it would be a blessing to even have a few people that watch anime (I know like 5... maybe slightly more or less?). Though at least none of them like Naruto

no just say no to narutards

Get a steel bat. There is baseball there, right? Yeah, get a steel bat.

...and do it like MAEBARA KEICHI!!!!

They're not geeks. They damage the good geek name

There are to type of geeks:

-Geeks
-Nerds

They're more into 'nerds'. Because, Geek is an example of a studious person who knows a lot about something. Nerds is an example of a studious person who knows a lot of thing and is practically dogmatic.

*considers heading to a convention just for the opportunity to pistol-whip a couple Narutards with a plastic Steyr*

Wow, I feel sorry for you Whatface.
Now I like a lot of mainstream series, though I prefer the more obscure ones, but I really can't stand it when people react like that about, well, anything. But especially about anime because people see them as the norm for anime watchers and it make the rest of us look stupid with them. I hate it when people love something just because it came from a particular country - just enjoy it for what it is like a normal person. [/rant]

Y'all responses were great. And Whatface - learn some Tae Kwon Do; you'll really be able to take on people even if you're ultra skinny like me.

earn some Tae Kwon Do; you'll really be able to take on people even if you're ultra skinny like me.

I suggest Aikido instead. You don't need strength for that and instead you became one with the flow of energy and use that against your foe's attacks.

Considering mainstream anime otakus...

If you haven't been to Akihabara, then you have not seen the true 'horrors' how much those otakus and nerds could inflict (and how annoying they can be as customers). Western otakus are nothing but breakfast and chow for their taste...

....but that is a different story.


but anyway, dude, get a bat. dress as Maebara Keiichi:

Spoiler:

...then slaughter the Narutards with the bat and say that 'this is part of my cosplay. OYASHIRO-SAMAAAAA!!!!' (the last one is optional. But just for the lulz). Relax, enjoy the moment, and when you're done the bat will be pretty much red with blood.

Oh, send pictures :p

learn some basic Brazilian jiu jitsu as well... a vast majority of fights taken on by untrained folks go to the ground rather quickly... and you'd be surprised how little size matters once you're down there. it's all about positioning, leverage, and pain manipulation.

also, speaking of Naruto and its tards in general... Dr. McNinja is actually marginally closer to the real thing than any character in Naruto... and he's a purposefully ridiculous, exaggerated parody of popular misconceptions about ninja.

and finally:
Baseball Bat.

That is awesome! It's called the Brooklyn Smasher! I feel some Brooklyn pride!
I love it!

I recommend using aluminum, but if wood is a must, use a maple bat. Ash bats tend to splinter something stupid.

It's quite enjoyable having a reason to strike em down. In terms of Tae Kwon Do, its a great martial art/sport to learn.

I wanted to learn Aikido, damn school making me busy.

boomer wrote:I recommend using aluminum, but if wood is a must, use a maple bat. Ash bats tend to splinter something stupid.

and then there are the ones that are injection molded out of heavy-grade polypropylene:

Oh this reminds me of the time my brother smashed a metal bat across my back lol. Good times. This is what happens when we play cops and robbers and there is no adult supervision xD

try a cricket bat they are made from willow and can weigh up to about 3lb

Awinnell wrote:try a cricket bat they are made from willow and can weigh up to about 3lb

Oh you English and your Cricket! lol

if you must use a cricket bat...

sharpened.steel.

Cricket bats are huge...but are convenient one-strike-one-kill weapon right at the head. Strong enough, and you might send someone's head flying like a cricket ball.... :p

Baseball bat...think sadistic, think creative. Nah...
FULL BRUTE FORCE!!!!

Panzer IV wrote:Cricket bats are huge...but are convenient one-strike-one-kill weapon right at the head. Strong enough, and you might send someone's head flying like a cricket ball.... :p

Baseball bat...think sadistic, think creative. Nah...
FULL BRUTE FORCE!!!!

Like a raider in fall out 3 oh lordy lord.. lol

Awinnell wrote:try a cricket bat they are made from willow and can weigh up to about 3lb...

"I will kill people today, Leo. I will kill people with this cricket bat, which was given to me by Her Royal Majesty Elizabeth Windsor, and then I will kill them again with my own hands." - Lionel Tribbey, White House Counsel for the first Bartlett Administration.

(One of my favorite lines from one of my favorite guests on The West Wing. I bought a cricket bat after that episode.)

Panzer IV wrote:

learn some Tae Kwon Do; you'll really be able to take on people even if you're ultra skinny like me.

I suggest Aikido instead. You don't need strength for that and instead you became one with the flow of energy and use that against your foe's attacks.

But there's just such great irony in slamming a weeabo with something non-Japanese and showing them firsthand that good things can come from places other than Japan.

Panzer IV wrote:Relax, enjoy the moment, and when you're done the bat will be pretty much red with blood.

Oh, send pictures :p

Yes, please do.

Nevermind all that fancy gadgetry and Asian Language for Fighting Styles that will take years to perfect...

I taught self defense for a few prized students of him with help of a few Martial Arts Experts I knew and developed it into the "Anti Rape" Class of Self Defense.
1) Dont let Fear Scare you to freeze and become a target.
2) Scream and yell your head off
3) Go For the soft and delicate spots... Kick in knees, Kick/Hit groins, Punch Adam's Apple, Gouge Out Eyes...

Nothing says "Job Well Done" like a screaming Tormentor screaming for his mommy...

KodokuRyuu wrote:there's just such great irony in slamming a weeabo with something non-Japanese and showing them firsthand that good things can come from places other than Japan.

I see your point... jiu jitsu is just a little too closely related, Brazilian or no... I think the only real answer is to learn Eskrima or Silat... or if you must go with something Tae Kwon Do-ish, learn Taekkyon, it's much more practical.


or to go by Elfen's example... train in basic Krav Maga.

Just shiv the guy in the kidney and be done with it. Do your part to help put some chlorine into the gene pool.

You people...sheesh...always over-thinking things...

http://www.tshirthell.com/funny-shirts/what-the-fuck-did-you-call-me-pot-and-kettle/

I started being ashamed to be a trekkie long ago when some dumbass woman wore her starfleet uniform to jury duty and made the news. Then Brannon Braga took over the franchise and I was ashamed enough to stop watching.

As Naruto goes, I knew it was going to be annoying when I saw a commercial that pronounced it "Noh-ru-toh" rather than "Nah-ru-toh" Friggin nerds.

KodokuRyuu wrote: Now I like a lot of mainstream series, though I prefer the more obscure ones, but I really can't stand it when people react like that about, well, anything. But especially about anime because people see them as the norm for anime watchers and it make the rest of us look stupid with them.[/rant]

EXACTLY!! I don't mind people yapping about whatever, but do they have to do it so loud??

It pisses me of when someone finds out that I watch a couple of animu then they automatically think Naruto...

And my friend wants me to go to animu conventions... She's a really nice person, but hello?? I've only watched around like 13 animu series??

*skims though numerous weapons and techniques*

Nice, but I rather beat up gangster-wannabes (Haha, yeah right. No matter what bat I have, I'm still a bloody stickman) than Narutards. Thankfully, there doesn't seem to be any gangster-wannabe fuckheads at Uni. Seems like they all died off with Highschool.

Gangster fuckheads don't have the intelligence to make it to uni.

Whatface wrote:And my friend wants me to go to animu conventions... She's a really nice person, but hello?? I've only watched around like 13 animu series??

So just use it as an opportunity to Babe Watch.

Ugh. Naruto. I swear, out of the dozen people at my school who even know what anime is, 11 of them like that crap. The other one is me.

TwistedRose wrote:Ugh. Naruto. I swear, out of the dozen people at my school who even know what anime is, 11 of them like that crap. The other one is me.

And you're a far cooler person for it, TR.

Did I mention I want all those bat/weapon things? They would be fun to have, even if I never needed to use them. And yes, Krav Maga for the win. I friend of mine actually know it - he says it pretty effective. Wow Whatface, only ~13 series? I've watched... so many more than that. But I do have an excuse - I use it to pick up Japanese vocab.

Whatface wrote:And my friend wants me to go to animu conventions... She's a really nice person, but hello?? I've only watched around like 13 animu series??

To be honest, I've probably watched less, but I'd still go to an anime convention given the chance. At the end of the day, it's not how much you've watched, but how much you liked it.

Though the reason I've watched hardly anything is because I don't go actively searching for stuff. I think probably 1/4 of the anime I've watched has been recommended to me/mentioned on this forum...