What I Learned From Gunslinger Girl

by **Nachtsider** Fri 18 Jan 2008 - 5:50

Giuseppe knows everything.
Always apologize before bumping off an innocent witness to your murderous work.
Be grateful for menstrual cramps, for they remind you that you're alive and kicking.
Mario Bossi is a good person to have with you when you're trying to lose pursuers.
Claes decides whether she is happy or not - no exceptions.
When a thirteen-year-old blonde cyborg assassin in a suit comes crashing through your window and puts a huge shotgun to your head, all resistance is futile.
Padania underbosses have no qualms about committing cruel killings and destructive bombings, but are greatly concerned about possibly tarnishing Italian treasures by doing so.
Do not be mean to your cyborg protegee unless you want her unloading a pistol into your head before killing herself.
Beethoven's Ninth is the perfect song to listen to when watching meteor showers from your hospital bed.
This is one screwed-up world.
Nobody fucks with teh Rico.

Anyone care to add to this list?

by Danjo3 Fri 18 Jan 2008 - 7:30

If Hillshire gives you a choice as to what you want for a present, don't wuss out - Go for the gold!

by Wileama Fri 18 Jan 2008 - 10:58

Live ever day like it's your last
Be afraid of small girls with violin cases
Never fuck with one Jean Corce, lest he cut off your ear
Go for the eye
Evil can't imagine the power of innocence

Totally stole that last one from someone here on the boards, can't recall who though.

by **rusty-spring** Fri 18 Jan 2008 - 12:06

1. Furniture is a readily available weapon.
2. Arms are convenient bullet shields.
3. Truth - Your assassing cyborg-loli will look adorable in a maid outfit.
4. The only guns cool enough to use must be European and made before 1940 (Some exceptions.)
5. We don't need no stinkin' cars. We have Vespas.

by LoC978 Fri 18 Jan 2008 - 15:45

the Handler's Creed:
This is my cyborg, there are a few that are similar to her, but this one is mine.
My cyborg is my life, my trainee, and my superior. I must impart all of my knowledge to her that she may utilize it more effectively than I ever could.
Without me, my cyborg is helpless. Without my cyborg, I am useless. I must train her to fire true. She must be able to outfight my enemy, who is (probably) trying to harm innocents. She will be able...
My cyborg and myself know that what counts in an operation is not the bodycount we create, nor the monetary damage we inflict upon the enemy through seizure of equipment. We know that it is our mission objective that counts. It is the specific kill, the undetected escape, the fear of death we instill in our enemies' leaders. We will instill that fear...
My cyborg is human, even as I, and she is my life. Thus, I will learn her as a sister, and as a comrade. I will learn her weaknesses, her strengths, her weaponry, her abilities, and her soul. I will ever guard her against the ravages of combat and stress generated by combat, just as I guard myself. I will keep my cyborg healthy and ready. We will become two parts of the same killing machine. We will...
Before God, I swear this creed. My cyborg and myself are defenders of my country. We are the masters of our enemy. We are the saviors of our own lives...
So be it, until victory is Italy's and there is no more enemy, but peace!
Amen.

(jointly written by the Croce brothers at their family home in Sicily, the night before their cyborgs arrived under the care of Ferro. They were slightly drunk, and had just watched Full Metal Jacket again)

by **Nachtsider** Fri 18 Jan 2008 - 16:01

LoC wins the thread.

by Danjo3 Sat 19 Jan 2008 - 2:37

LoC978 wrote:the Handler's Creed

Very inspirational! What I Learned From Gunslinger Girl 222847

by Wileama Sat 19 Jan 2008 - 11:37

LoC you are too good at this.

by **ElfenMagix** Sat 19 Jan 2008 - 21:36

and to believe all I was going to add was:
-All Guns Jam, Especially the Modern Ones.

by Guest Sat 19 Jan 2008 - 21:42

- Never screw with Italians. They'll devote their lives to getting back at you, your family, your friends, your relatives, your accuaintances, your 6th grade English teacher, the son you never had, that guy you met at the gun shop, and your long dead sister's, brother's, cusins aunt... and that's not all of it.

by **Tommygunner70** Sat 19 Jan 2008 - 21:48

a dead padania is a good padania.
everything has a price, even justice.
every situation ends with a bodybag for padania's
Sandro is Pervert Number 1.
Cute looking school girls can be quiet deadly.
try as the padania's might, cyborgs are just to much for them.
never mess with Triela, Pinochio found out the hard way.
Beethoven's Ninth- Ode an die freude, Helps little Angelica sleep very well.

Enjoy the song by the way Wink

by **ElfenMagix** Sat 19 Jan 2008 - 21:56

- a cyborg will put herself between me and any life threatening situation, but she'll always worry about how she ruined that dress I got for her.

by Angiegarde Sun 20 Jan 2008 - 4:13

1. The only good Pandarian is a dead Pandarian (exceptions include the male/female pair of bombers from episodes 6 and 12)

2. When you've beaten an opponent, be sure to finish them off lest they nail you at a future date (ask Pinochio about this....)

3. If you stumble across one of the Agency's operations and one of their junior operatives kills you, understand that it's nothing personal, it's just business.....

4. Don't threaten to turn cute young girls into swiss cheese or you'll get your head bashed in with a crowbar..... (see episode 12)

5. Treasure each day of your life for it could be your last.....

6. Treat your junior operative partner well because they're people too.....

7. Don't put all of your eggs in one basket. Just ask Elsa (see episodes 9 to 11)

8. Always treasure the basic things in life for you may not always have them.

by Danjo3 Sun 20 Jan 2008 - 5:54

LOVE ME OR ELSE!!!

by **Tommygunner70** Sun 20 Jan 2008 - 5:58

life is a gift, waste it not.
you never know what you had untill you lost it.
Life it a bitch. (well thats more from own experiance then GSG)
there is a bullet, a time and a place for everyone, you never know when the bullet is fired though, so watch out for the little girls.

by LoC978 Sun 20 Jan 2008 - 13:16

Angiegarde wrote:2. When you've beaten an opponent, be sure to finish them off lest they nail you at a future date (ask Pinochio about this....)

couldn't help mahself. 'cause that sounded downright dirty to me. poor Triela, she's too young to be the target of all this sex talk...
get it? nail? *wink wink, nudge nudge*

a 9mm is good enough to kill, and usually accurate enough for a professional.
never order roomservice if you're sharing a room with a politician.

by **Tommygunner70** Sun 20 Jan 2008 - 13:22

LoC978 wrote:couldn't help mahself. 'cause that sounded downright dirty to me. poor Triela, she's too young to be the target of all this sex talk...
get it? nail? *wink wink, nudge nudge*

Where do you get off mate? Hentai central?

Then feel free to join the ride with me :p

by **Nachtsider** Mon 21 Jan 2008 - 0:26

If you're a terrorist and cornered by government forces, think twice before capturing small children who appear out of nowhere and provide the perfect opportunity for hostage-taking.
Giuseppe needs more practice in hand-to-hand combat.
Pinocchio's had his fill of women.
Cyberpunks prefer redheads.
'Sandro is a drag queen.
Jean sees dead people.

by **ElfenMagix** Mon 21 Jan 2008 - 0:28

- When in doubt, there is a Padania Terrorist out there to blame it on.
- Never understimate the fire power of a little girl carrying violin case. (Actually, they are Viola cases- Violin cases are too small for most things!)
-Desperado was not the first to stuff an instrument case with weaponry, nor will he be the last.
What I Learned From Gunslinger Girl Desperado_koffer_neu

What I Learned From Gunslinger Girl Desperado_koffer_neu

by Guest Mon 21 Jan 2008 - 20:19

Wileama wrote:Evil can't imagine the power of innocence

El Laberinto del Fauno Smile

I only got one:
Italian press and paparazzi suck so much that child assassins remain a rumor for years despite multiple gun battle and recon at public place

by **Nachtsider** Mon 21 Jan 2008 - 20:22

That point about the press often gives me cause to wonder, Wasyhuu. The Agency's doom would be compromise (i.e. exposure), and they theoretically ought to have been compromised a dozen times over. By the looks of things, their use of children as assassins seems to be pretty much an open secret among the underworld, although the bad guys still stupidly believe that the kids are just normal children who are trained to fight - not superhuman, bullet-proof killing machines.

by Guest Mon 21 Jan 2008 - 21:02

Most of the press is under the gov's control. The people that aren't have a strange tendency to get visited by "little angels that take them to heaven (or hell...proubably, hell.) if they get too curious.

An article about cybrogs would likely be received as bullshit taken out of third category sci-fi novels by most of the population.

The alternative is to talk about children trained to be assasins, but if you're going to say somehting like that you need some good proof, and not place much value in your life.

by **emperor** Tue 22 Jan 2008 - 2:39

never order roomservice if you're sharing a room with a politician.

by **Nachtsider** Thu 21 Feb 2008 - 20:56

Mario Bossi knows the SWA's address.

Jean sees dead people... especially when he's drunk.

The second point is a modification of something I posted in this thread previously. A lot of people think Enrica's appearance in Volume Six was the appearance of an actual ghost, but one must consider the fact that Jean had been at the bottle prior to her popping up.

by **ElfenMagix** Fri 22 Feb 2008 - 10:22

- One is too many.

- Hillshire has too many friends on the wrong see (Mario Bossi; One is too many)

by West Nile Fri 22 Feb 2008 - 22:32

- drinking brings back the dead
(we could actually put it that way)

- the best way to get around Sicilli is... on the back of a cyborg girl.

- never under estimate the "pregnant" lady

- no matter how old the guy is, if your on him get off him quick! (glances at the chaos in the -Il teatrino thread-)

- don't waste Claes' time she does not like that

by Guest Sat 23 Feb 2008 - 14:15

- Its a cruel world. Just because you made friends with someone is no insurance against them shooting you if you get in their way. Particularly blonde 13 year old girls with boys names... Sad but true.

- A cyborg is not just for Christmas, they are for life.

- There is something particularly badass about still using weapons made before 1900.

-There is nothing cooler than a p90 in a Viola case.

- Knives are useless weapons against cyborgs. If your must use blades Pino use a katana or something ok?

by Guest Tue 4 Mar 2008 - 4:14

I have something to add:

-One does not need to hate a terriost in order to kill one because there are plenty of reasons to do it.

-Never let a little girl fall in love, especially if she's trained to kill.

-Never piss off a little girl by saying you forgot her name and how she came to be.

-Never choose a girl that has a resemblence to your deceased sister or else your brother will damn you for it when his drunk.

by West Nile Tue 4 Mar 2008 - 5:58

What i learned from GSG season 2:

If you're in the mens room, and you see a cute little girl in a dress behind you... run like hell!! don't look back and run like hell!

Fallen logs on the road are there for a reason

it's not just in space.... but in a Opera... no one can hear you scream or your neck break.

Don't stash explosives use them all at one go... you won't want a certain "blood hound" to find them now would you.

I know the blond girl is smiling... but that does not mean you can smile back

by Guest Tue 4 Mar 2008 - 8:04

- Do not join any government agencies that involve children for the money. Just...just don't. You will regret it later.

-In fact, if you don't like children, please put down that Social Welfare Agency brochure right now. This job is not for you.

-After handling Semtex, change clothes and wash your hands.

-Henrietta is the physical manifestation of the word 'adorable'.

-Henrietta will murder you despite the above, and she will do so happily if Giuseppe asks her to.

-The butler did not do it. The little girl who you saw skipping down the street as you drove up did.

-When in doubt, give your cyborg girl a teddy bear.

-Shotguns with bayonets = even more awesome.

-Ladies, do not get fresh with Giuseppe. Matter of fact, just...just stay away from Giuseppe.

by Utsurokuri Tue 4 Mar 2008 - 13:44

Xeno you might want to add Lauro and Hillshire there too to the last one...but Lauro is dead...so meh. >>;

by **Nachtsider** Tue 4 Mar 2008 - 16:04

Somehow, I don't think Triela would go postal over Hillshire dating someone. She's too mature for that, if you ask me.

by Guest Tue 4 Mar 2008 - 17:04

Nachtsider wrote:Somehow, I don't think Triela would go postal over Hillshire dating someone. She's too mature for that, if you ask me.

Yeah...Triela might threaten the thief of Hillshire's heart if she just couldn't take it anymore, but...she's the only one of the girls besides maybe Claes who would always stop herself. Mostly she would cry. There would be a lot of drama, rather than the Henrietta Solution.

(...which is, incidentally, the reason that a romantic relationship between Triela and her handler would be a healthy one, unlike one between Henrietta and Giuseppe. Razz

Or at least a more healthy one than one built on pure infatuation.)

Poor, poor Giuseppe. He is never going to get any. Never.

by Danjo3 Wed 5 Mar 2008 - 1:50

Xenomorph Alpha wrote:Yeah...Triela might threaten the thief of Hillshire's heart if she just couldn't take it anymore, but...she's the only one of the girls besides maybe Claes who would always stop herself. Mostly she would cry. There would be a lot of drama, rather than the Henrietta Solution.

I think Triela would arrange to have Hillshire’s love interest kind of disappear, if you know what mean.

by Guest Wed 5 Mar 2008 - 2:22

...Well that's possible...but she'd be subtle about it. XD

Henrietta, on the other hand?

Blind Date: Well, let's see...I first came to Rome for art school, and then...

*A loud crash echoes, a flashbang goes off (Giuseppe covering his eyes) and poor Ms. Blind Date dies in a horrible hail of P90 fire. Then Henrietta hops through the broken window and fires her SiG into the corpse. Screaming, calls for the police, horrified onlookers, etc.*

Giuseppe: ...Henrietta. Why...?

Henrietta: ...She was a Padania terrorist! Honest! She was going to torture you, Giuse-san! You're lucky I got here when I did. ;.; *pouts adorably*

Giuseppe: ...*sigh* ...I just bet. x_x; *calls HQ* Ferro? Yeah, we need another cleanup crew. ...how do you THINK my date went.

by West Nile Wed 5 Mar 2008 - 5:13

The West Nile dictionary

Padania \Pa-da-nya\ noun 1: an alternative name for Northern Italy, which was sparingly used until the beginning of the 1990s, when Lega Nord political party proposed it as the denomination of a common homeland for northern Italians dissatisfied with the Italian government. Therefore, since the 1990s the term carries strong political implications in the Italian context. 2: a slang term for PRF. 3: members of the PRF. 4: an derogatory name for a southern Italian. 5 :Girls that follow Joze according to Henrietta

by **Nachtsider** Wed 5 Mar 2008 - 5:15

Some sources say Padania are a wholly fictional terrorist organization, modelled by Yu Aida after the Irish Republican Army. Others swear blind that Padania are real. Which is true?

by West Nile Wed 5 Mar 2008 - 5:20

More on the West Nile dictionary

PRF noun: Acronym for Padania Republic Faction.

Padania Republic Faction noun 1: Known as Movimento Delle Cinque Repubbliche in Italian, the Padania Republic Faction (PRF) is a reactionary nationalist and right-wing group opposed to the country's increased globalization and dedicated to the independence of northern Italy. 2: Moving, bleeding, screaming targets for SWA cyborgs.

WestNilepedia:
my first definition for Padania is real, it seems that these guys who live in that area seem to want their independence from their own country... they want to be their own country in short. so yes they are enemys to the Italian government but if they are terrorists or not im not sure... il see if i can ask my Italian friend (that's if ever i bump into him anytime soon)

by **Nachtsider** Wed 5 Mar 2008 - 5:23

(referring to my above post) Somebody...?

by West Nile Wed 5 Mar 2008 - 5:25

refer to the WestNilepedia...

by **Nachtsider** Wed 5 Mar 2008 - 5:45

Ah. Thanks, Nile - I'm eagerly awaiting the follow-up.

by West Nile Wed 5 Mar 2008 - 5:51

neh? what follow-up?

by **Nachtsider** Wed 5 Mar 2008 - 5:54

Asking your Italian buddy.

by West Nile Wed 5 Mar 2008 - 5:55

O, i thought you were still having trouble finding the WestNilepedia. yeah il probably come up with a follow up when the hawk has spanned over the northern twilight... on saturday

by Guest Wed 5 Mar 2008 - 7:11

Nachtsider wrote:Some sources say Padania are a wholly fictional terrorist organization, modelled by Yu Aida after the Irish Republican Army. Others swear blind that Padania are real. Which is true?

Well...there is a healthy Padanian independence movement, according to the interwebs, and the Lega Nord political party, who advocate separation, are quite real and are indeed rather...far-right. However, the PRF itself...seems to come up only in relation to GSG.

I'd wager it's fictional, but...it could happen. ...Ironically, however, the IRA was Marxist-Leninist, so they were far-left. They do use a lot of the same tactics though--a lot of AKs, cell structures, kidnappings, bait-and-switch bombing plots, etc. The IRA were...more sympathetic, though, I'd say, than the PRF-- given the comparative states of Northern Ireland circa the Troubles and Italy circa the future.

...In another touch of supreme irony, the idea I've been playing with for an OC handler is an ex-IRA captain. Wouldn't that be fun for Giuseppe to deal with. XD;

by West Nile Wed 5 Mar 2008 - 7:39

One of my handlers was a former Padania sniper. Not only Joze... but Jean hates him.

by **emperor** Fri 7 Mar 2008 - 23:55

Xenomorph Alpha wrote:...Well that's possible...but she'd be subtle about it. XD

Henrietta, on the other hand?

Blind Date: Well, let's see...I first came to Rome for art school, and then...

*A loud crash echoes, a flashbang goes off (Giuseppe covering his eyes) and poor Ms. Blind Date dies in a horrible hail of P90 fire. Then Henrietta hops through the broken window and fires her SiG into the corpse. Screaming, calls for the police, horrified onlookers, etc.*

Giuseppe: ...Henrietta. Why...?

Henrietta: ...She was a Padania terrorist! Honest! She was going to torture you, Giuse-san! You're lucky I got here when I did. ;.; *pouts adorably*

Giuseppe: ...*sigh* ...I just bet. x_x; *calls HQ* Ferro? Yeah, we need another cleanup crew. ...how do you THINK my date went.

:face:

by West Nile Sat 8 Mar 2008 - 22:31

West Nile wrote:O, i thought you were still having trouble finding the WestNilepedia. yeah il probably come up with a follow up when the hawk has spanned over the northern twilight... on saturday

*Runs from a hail of bullets clutching a folder*
I got it! i got the info!
*opens the folder and finds it empty*
Nooooooo!
*dies*

anyway according to my Italian friend, if you say Padania in Italy it will automatically be considered the northern part of Italy. those guys there show desire to be autonomous from south Italy but it's just a desire. they're not really blowing bridges and killing people. they just want to, they're not doing anything about it aside from that. so there is a Padania but no PRF

by **Nachtsider** Sat 8 Mar 2008 - 22:36

Ah... I see now. Thanks, Nile - and do thank your friend for me while you're at it!

by **emperor** Mon 10 Mar 2008 - 9:11

West Nile wrote:
West Nile wrote:O, i thought you were still having trouble finding the WestNilepedia. yeah il probably come up with a follow up when the hawk has spanned over the northern twilight... on saturday

*Runs from a hail of bullets clutching a folder*
I got it! i got the info!
*opens the folder and finds it empty*
Nooooooo!
*dies*

anyway according to my Italian friend, if you say Padania in Italy it will automatically be considered the northern part of Italy. those guys there show desire to be autonomous from south Italy but it's just a desire. they're not really blowing bridges and killing people. they just want to, they're not doing anything about it aside from that. so there is a Padania but no PRF

You will got some gift from me,West Nile.

Awesome!

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