Help?

Nachtsider wrote:
Third base = oral sex

Oral Sex...
Sora and I are good at that. She says "Screw you." and then I say "Bite me."

Did we really need to know that?

Whatface wrote:Did we really need to know that?

It was intended as a joke

That was quite random...

Anyway, you guys were right. She's definitely warming to me. Not only did I get three hugs today () but they were all a lot... better, more loving, shall we say, than the normal ones. Basically, they were longer, firmer, and warmer.

And I had two hours today with her, throughout she was happier than I've seen her in a long time...
Whether that's as a result of me or not, I don't know, but it's good regardless

Nachtsider wrote:

Same here.

Though I wonder if you couldn't have picked a guy that looked more content then this chap.

Well, if you follow the film that scene's from, Tommy, he's actually very content and proud of what he's seeing. But yeah, you may be right...

Man, and I thought I'm one who mostly 'diverge' from the topic.

That was quite random...

Anyway, you guys were right. She's definitely warming to me. Not only did I get three hugs today ()
but they were all a lot... better, more loving, shall we say, than the
normal ones. Basically, they were longer, firmer, and warmer.

And I had two hours today with her, throughout she was happier than I've seen her in a long time...
Whether that's as a result of me or not, I don't know, but it's good regardless

But T-san, I have to say...

That news made my day. One of the better news I heard this week...aside from Arisa-tan who jumps for joy and hug me when she finished her last exam this week--physics exam--on Thursday.

Just remember, don't jump the gun too fast.

....and I'm a little curious for some reason, but do you have any 'major' school events coming this month (or next month)? Maybe something worth picture taking? Or a concert or something?



Another thing is...let me ask you, honestly since I'm slightly worried for a strange reason. You're *technically* not attracted to her mainly for physical reasons such as face, hair, etc.? There's an attraction between character too, right? And personality? Because if it is physical attraction, you best realize that she'll change in a matter of months.

Bravo! Fucking bravo on obtaining a future wife

Panzer IV wrote:....and I'm a little curious for some reason, but do you have any 'major' school events coming this month (or next month)? Maybe something worth picture taking? Or a concert or something?

Another thing is...let me ask you, honestly since I'm slightly worried for a strange reason. You're *technically* not attracted to her mainly for physical reasons such as face, hair, etc.? There's an attraction between character too, right? And personality? Because if it is physical attraction, you best realize that she'll change in a matter of months.

We do, a Prom on the 1st of July, and a leaving thingy on Thursday...

And don't worry, this is most certainly not a purely physical attraction. We've been good friends for a long time, and the only reason I went ahead with this was because I realised that actually I cared about her more than just as a friend

Whatface wrote:Bravo! Fucking bravo on obtaining a future wife

That's certainly one way of putting it

We do, a Prom on the 1st of July, and a leaving thingy on Thursday...

And
don't worry, this is most certainly not a purely physical attraction.
We've been good friends for a long time, and the only reason I went
ahead with this was because I realised that actually I cared about her
more than just as a friend

Then here I'll say that you have my full-fledged support! Ask her out during Prom! I mean, not ask her to 'go to prom with you', but at the same time as asking her out to go with you, propose to her in such a way that she understands that you wanted to go out with her.
Say...like subliminal messages. So technically, you ask her to come with you to prom or to accompany you but at the same time ask her out.

2 months should be enough recovery time. Also, it gives you a lot of confidence and 'feel' at the same time

gambatte! gambatte!

it looks like everything goes to the correct direction. Great. keep it up!!!
i'll alway support you........ from behind...... lol.

well prom sounds like a good idea, as long as you feel confident that should'nt be a problem

Nachtsider wrote:Well, if you follow the film that scene's from, Tommy, he's actually very content and proud of what he's seeing. But yeah, you may be right...

What’s the name of the movie Nacht?

Citizen Kane. That's Orson Welles.

I knew that looked familiar.

Well I was talking to her today, and it turns out that she does indeed love me back

There are two problems though:
1. She thinks she isn't worth it. I've tried to tell her that she's completely wrong in saying that, but she's having none of it. I think girls have a habit of putting themselves down :/
2. She worried that even if we do go out, I'll have moved on soon enough due to the fact that we're going to different schools next year (which will be for 2 years) and then likely different universities after that... Now, whilst I can't garuntee anything (I'm 16, even 1 year is a long time to me ) I highly doubt that will happen. Again, she refuses to accept that.

Break out the booze, people - we have ourselves a winner! Seriously, man, that's fabulous news.

Now, for the problems you list. Personal experience tells me that neither of them is insurmountable.

The first is something encountered by people everywhere when they're in the verge of entering a relationship. In her case, this might be compounded by how she feels about being a victim of rape. Kindness, understanding, support and earnest pledges that she is the only one for you will solve this. Remind her about the wonderful qualities she possesses, which made her catch your eye and continually make you want/need her.

The second is an argument that doesn't really hold any water as an excuse for a relationship to end. As long as both parties truly love each other and are loyal, distance means nothing. Keep in constant contact via any communication medium so as to bridge the gap, and continually affirm your faith in one another while stressing that you are willing to wait. That should do the trick - it certainly did for me.

Wow, some of these smileys are insane...

But yeah, I'll try to do those. The only trouble is that I sorta suck at saying stuff, so it may end up taking longer than otherwise
Still, thanks for all your help

well there's always the age old remedy, rehearse what you're gonna say

One random question TTIO.

What does your wife think about animu?

Whatface wrote:One random question TTIO.

What does your wife think about animu?

lol did mean to say "wife"??

Yes

Whenever one of my online friends get a girlfriend, I always refer to them as a "wife"

Well I was talking to her today, and it turns out that she does indeed love me back

There are two problems though:
1.
She thinks she isn't worth it. I've tried to tell her that she's
completely wrong in saying that, but she's having none of it. I think
girls have a habit of putting themselves down :/
2. She worried that
even if we do go out, I'll have moved on soon enough due to the fact
that we're going to different schools next year (which will be for 2
years) and then likely different universities after that... Now, whilst
I can't garuntee anything (I'm 16, even 1 year is a long time to me ) I highly doubt that will happen. Again, she refuses to accept that.

That's good news! Woot!

...although I couldn't help you much on this one ^^;

I don't know how she feels and how you could respond to it, but in my case I was the one who feel unworthy. Yeah, the other way around. I don't know, I never win a debate against Risa-tan so whenever I put up something I'll be completely silenced the next minute she put an argument

The second argument is a little hard. I think it is difficult if you and her are moving to different school(s) next year. So ask yourself this: if you do forge a relationship with her, are you willing to stay constantly loyal to her?
Because there are many people who would say 'yes', but end up wooing another girl. Falling in 'love' can be as easy as 123 sometimes...which is bad.

Ask yourself that before you actually do attempt to forge a relationship with her. And if you do, I'll send my prayers to you like Noah and the Pigeon. As for convincing her, I seconded West-san's ol' remedy: rehearse your speech. If you like, you could also present a 'gift' along with it for her to remember you. Convince her in such a way that she'll snuggle to you like stamps against an envelope!

well #1 can easily be solved by assurance and a little "proof" if you know what i mean. and obviously staying intouch and making sure #2 won't happen will also fix #1.

though i'm disappointed to say that #2 is very likely to happen given that u'r 16 and u'r a guy. but then i'd love to see you prove me wrong and you redeem every other guy in this world

If you tell a girl you love her and then end up going for someone else, I will lose all my respect for you.

Nachtsider wrote:If you tell a girl you love her and then end up going for someone else, I will lose all my respect for you.

ditto, that's why kudos if you prove me wrong

If you tell a girl you love her and then end up going for someone else, I will lose all my respect for you.

Love is a very-very strong word. I agree to this!

It sad sometimes people use it as just a mere word of affection and not something great. Sometimes, it can be very-VERY hard to say that to someone you actually like

yet for those players out there (currently scowling) it's as easy as saying "hamburger"

Wow, lots of stuff to reply to... Yet no multi-quote

West Nile wrote:well there's always the age old remedy, rehearse what you're gonna say

Indeed, but I always forget it when it comes to it :/

Whatface wrote:One random question TTIO.

What does your wife think about animu?

My "wife" (though we're still not officially going out) is pretty much indifferent to it. There are some she likes, some she doesn't, but she doesn't rate anime automatically higher than live-action. Unlike me

Panzer IV wrote:The second argument is a little hard. I think it is difficult if you and her are moving to different school(s) next year. So ask yourself this: if you do forge a relationship with her, are you willing to stay constantly loyal to her?
Because there are many people who would say 'yes', but end up wooing another girl. Falling in 'love' can be as easy as 123 sometimes...which is bad.

Ask yourself that before you actually do attempt to forge a relationship with her. And if you do, I'll send my prayers to you like Noah and the Pigeon. As for convincing her, I seconded West-san's ol' remedy: rehearse your speech. If you like, you could also present a 'gift' along with it for her to remember you. Convince her in such a way that she'll snuggle to you like stamps against an envelope!

Well, she is my first love. Ever. And it took me over 3 years to get to this point - I don't rush into this sort of thing. At the very least, I'm not going to go after anyone else for a fair amount of time, the question is only whether I'll stay with her. I can be certain of that (not something I say lightly).

And as it turns out, the reason she was worried about this was because she didn't realise precisely how I felt - I'm generally very passive with anything, so I never actually explained fully. Fortunately, a friend has come to the rescue and now she understands

West Nile wrote:though i'm disappointed to say that #2 is very likely to happen given that u'r 16 and u'r a guy. but then i'd love to see you prove me wrong and you redeem every other guy in this world

Nachtsider wrote:If you tell a girl you love her and then end up going for someone else, I will lose all my respect for you.

What I said before

Panzer IV wrote:Love is a very-very strong word. I agree to this!

It sad sometimes people use it as just a mere word of affection and not something great. Sometimes, it can be very-VERY hard to say that to someone you actually like

Also agreed. I think that Kodoku's definition was pretty good, the one he gave earlier in this thread:

KodokuRyuu wrote:Love is more than just an emotion - it's deep down caring for someone through the good and the bad. It's a commitment and a choice; the emotions flow from that.

TTIO wrote:Well, she is my first love. Ever. And it took me over 3 years to get to this point - I don't rush into this sort of thing. At the very least, I'm not going to go after anyone else for a fair amount of time, the question is only whether I'll stay with her. I can be certain of that (not something I say lightly).

And as it turns out, the reason she was worried about this was because she didn't realise precisely how I felt - I'm generally very passive with anything, so I never actually explained fully. Fortunately, a friend has come to the rescue and now she understands

well that's nice to know, given that it must have took alot of effort from you to say it, it's good to know that it's not going to waste

As it turns out, she thought I wasn't actually trying that hard to get her.

So, I asked her out again, and she said yes, but not right now (good enough for me.)

On a random side-note, today was our leaver's assembly. Sucked that this may be the last time for a long while that I'll see her in person

congrats!!!! you've won a battle. now you have to face the next one. this will be tougher than the previous one.
i wish you luck

As it turns out, she thought I wasn't actually trying that hard to get her.

So, I asked her out again, and she said yes, but not right now (good enough for me.)

On
a random side-note, today was our leaver's assembly. Sucked that this
may be the last time for a long while that I'll see her in person

huh? Wait? What? Wow, I'm happy that she accepted it but not at the current moment, but...what do you mean it will be 'the lat time that you'll see her in person'?

Panzer IV wrote:

As it turns out, she thought I wasn't actually trying that hard to get her.

So, I asked her out again, and she said yes, but not right now (good enough for me.)

On
a random side-note, today was our leaver's assembly. Sucked that this
may be the last time for a long while that I'll see her in person

huh? Wait? What? Wow, I'm happy that she accepted it but not at the current moment, but...what do you mean it will be 'the lat time that you'll see her in person'?

because they are going to different schools i guess.

well destroyer is right, you won the battle, but the next one will really test your witt. i have yet to see a long distance relationship go without trouble, so i wish you luck in that

Panzer IV wrote:huh? Wait? What? Wow, I'm happy that she accepted it but not at the current moment, but...what do you mean it will be 'the lat time that you'll see her in person'?

Not "the last time I'll see her in person", but "the last time for a long while"

And yeah, West Nile is right, it's because we're going to different schools next year. That's going to be insanely sucky

TTIO wrote:Not "the last time I'll see her in person", but "the last time for a long while"

And yeah, West Nile is right, it's because we're going to different schools next year. That's going to be insanely sucky

Telephone, Internet, weekends.

There are enough methods or times to see/talk to each other

Not "the last time I'll see her in person", but "the last time for a long while"

And yeah, West Nile is right, it's because we're going to different
schools next year. That's going to be insanely sucky

This is where the test comes. Trust me, when you're in a distance
relationship, keeping it is harder despite using internet, phones,
mails, facebooks or whatever it is. Easier said than done.

You're 16...deshou? So I figure next year you're in year 10 or 11--that
makes it twice as hard. High School is the core of your subjects and
balancing the time with your girlfriend and your studies will be a
challenge; not to mention, other forms of temptation in and around
these days.

One question: How far will the school you two are in will be?

Say you're in the states, will it be in different states, towns, or
further, hemisphere. If you're REALLY determined, discuss and plan
something--say, go to the same university or college or something like
that. This, however, requires double planning as it needs....how should
I say it? Synchronization with from both of you in terms of points.

Also, not to discourage or anything, but if you're really-really REALLY determined to maintain relationship between you two romatically, then I support you if you do take the words. However, if you know you're not going to then don't. It makes it less painful for her and for you later in the future.

Tommygunner70 wrote:Telephone, Internet, weekends.

There are enough methods or times to see/talk to each other

True, but it's not as much as I would have liked

Panzer IV wrote:You're 16...deshou? So I figure next year you're in year 10 or 11--that
makes it twice as hard. High School is the core of your subjects and
balancing the time with your girlfriend and your studies will be a
challenge; not to mention, other forms of temptation in and around
these days.

One question: How far will the school you two are in will be?

Say you're in the states, will it be in different states, towns, or
further, hemisphere. If you're REALLY determined, discuss and plan
something--say, go to the same university or college or something like
that. This, however, requires double planning as it needs....how should
I say it? Synchronization with from both of you in terms of points.

Also, not to discourage or anything, but if you're really-really REALLY determined to maintain relationship between you two romatically, then I support you if you do take the words. However, if you know you're not going to then don't. It makes it less painful for her and for you later in the future.

Different school system - I'm in year 12 next year and that means A-levels

But I'll be a couple of towns across from her. Not very far, but far enough to make it difficult...

TTIO wrote:

Tommygunner70 wrote:Telephone, Internet, weekends.

There are enough methods or times to see/talk to each other

True, but it's not as much as I would have liked

take this from personal experience TTIO. STICK TO PERSON-TO-PERSON CONTACT, talking to someone over a long time of IM or phone will do nothing more than damage the relationship. So please don't make it a habbit, no matter how convenient it is

take this from personal experience TTIO. STICK TO PERSON-TO-PERSON
CONTACT, talking to someone over a long time of IM or phone will do
nothing more than damage the relationship. So please don't make it a
habbit, no matter how convenient it is

Yes. I have to second this opinion.

Long term and long range relationship IS HARD. Although I may not have to experience it (since I'll be going to the same uni anyway), but please-please ask yourself T-san before committing fully if you really would like to spend time with her. Less it is harmful for both sides.

hmmm, isn't natch has experience the same thing before, the long distance relationship. how did you overcome it natch? what method did you use?

That reminds me, she said yes

We're officially going out

destroyer wrote:hmmm, isn't natch has experience the same thing before, the long distance relationship. how did you overcome it natch? what method did you use?

The Internet, the phone, and sneaking out to see each other.

If I drink any more alcohol in celebration of TT's success, I will die from cirrhosis.

Nachtsider wrote:

destroyer wrote:hmmm, isn't natch has experience the same thing before, the long distance relationship. how did you overcome it natch? what method did you use?

The Internet, the phone, and sneaking out to see each other.

If I drink any more alcohol in celebration of TT's success, I will die from cirrhosis.

now TTIO, that's the "guarantee" method from the expert about long distance love relationship. it might not work for everyone, but..... (take a deep breath)

if natch could do it, there's a high chance that you can do it as well.

out of 3, the third (sneaking) is my fav.

Nachtsider wrote:
The Internet, the phone, and sneaking out to see each other.

If I drink any more alcohol in celebration of TT's success, I will die from cirrhosis.

Have a Cola or something else instead, you really don't need to drink Alcohol in order to celebrate.

destroyer wrote:

Nachtsider wrote:

destroyer wrote:hmmm, isn't natch has experience the same thing before, the long distance relationship. how did you overcome it natch? what method did you use?

The Internet, the phone, and sneaking out to see each other.

If I drink any more alcohol in celebration of TT's success, I will die from cirrhosis.

now TTIO, that's the "guarantee" method from the expert about long distance love relationship. it might not work for everyone, but..... (take a deep breath)

if natch could do it, there's a high chance that you can do it as well.

out of 3, the third (sneaking) is my fav.

Internet and phone, certainly, but I doubt we'll have to sneak out just to see each other

TTIO wrote:

destroyer wrote:

Nachtsider wrote:

destroyer wrote:hmmm, isn't natch has experience the same thing before, the long distance relationship. how did you overcome it natch? what method did you use?

The Internet, the phone, and sneaking out to see each other.

If I drink any more alcohol in celebration of TT's success, I will die from cirrhosis.

now TTIO, that's the "guarantee" method from the expert about long distance love relationship. it might not work for everyone, but..... (take a deep breath)

if natch could do it, there's a high chance that you can do it as well.

out of 3, the third (sneaking) is my fav.

Internet and phone, certainly, but I doubt we'll have to sneak out just to see each other

but there is a difference destroyer: Nacht is married, TTIO is 16 and he said that sneaking is not necessary anyway. so i'd say put the internet and phone in moderate and stick to personal contact... (when i mean contact i didn't mean you have to be inches away from each other all the time

My wife and I weren't always married, West. Back when family opposition to our bond was at its height and they did everything they could to keep us apart, the secret mobile phones, Internet cafe time and (very rarely) sneaking out were all we had. At least TT doesn't have a horde of unreasonable people all over his back for dating his girl. Not that I wish it upon him. But just think about it - if my wife and I could sustain our relationship via long-distance contact while under so much pressure and hostility, there's no reason why anyone in less trying circumstances cannot.

well i guess it all depends on how it plays out then... fate can't be predicted after all

Nachtsider wrote: if my wife and I could sustain our relationship via long-distance contact while under so much pressure and hostility, there's no reason why anyone in less trying circumstances cannot.

very well said nacth. now TTIO, you have less thing to worry.

West Nile wrote:but there is a difference destroyer: Nacht is married, TTIO is 16 and he said that sneaking is not necessary anyway.

right, but i refer to when they haven't get married. besides, i don't know that TTIO don't have to sneak out, so if he didn't have to, that would be so much better.

Man, it sucks that she's always so busy :/

Still, I'm happy right now. It isn't too hard to talk to her, still

it's always possible to make time and it makes your time together more preciouse, just remember that absence makes the heart grow fonder but to much fondness and you will go bitter

I'm being geeky

I've written a program for her declaring my love. Now, I just need to compile it for Windows and see if it works, though I know it does on Linux

Nice.

geeky but charming