Help?

As you guys may know, I'm the sort of guy who's never bothered with relationships, and who's more interested in getting to uni first.

So I'm in a bit of a dilemma now. I think I've fallen in love, with one of my best friends. I have no idea how she's going to react, and I'm not certain what I would do if we ended up going out together. She already knows that I did once think of her that way, though without knowing it myself. So what do you guys think I should do?

Note: There are two complications here:
1. She got raped and is now pregnant as a result.
2. My parents are rather traditional, and thus always wanted me to have an arranged marriage. I didn't mind until yesterday, when it first dawned on me that I may have fallen in love. Ergo, I have no idea how they'll react...

before i give my answer, could i ask some additional question 1st?

1. Did the rapist get caught?
2. you do know that u'd pretty much have to marry her if you are going to get into a relationship at this stage
3. 1st love?

try hitting her




....
well realistically i think you should do what you want...screw your parents you are a frickin genius going to uni youve done everything on their terms until now and i think they can cut you a little slack...(just a little) Plus(+(addendum)) its not her fault she got raped...(is it?) so why should it be held against her (will it?)

REally how did she get raped just how? what kind of person are we talking about?
If it was a very forceful traumatizing event for her it might be hard to even get close! And she might not think of sex (or men)(or relationships)the same way anymore.



....too many questions that need answering dude.

First off, let me say that arranged marriages are a crock of shit, and a cause of many a failed bond and abject misery.

Knowing your parents, they're probably going to label your friend as 'tainted' and tell you to stay away from her, but that is unfair as all hell - she cannot be faulted for undergoing what she did, and does not deserve to have her trauma compounded by such stigmatization. Furthermore, it's her future and yours that's the issue here - your parents aren't the ones going to start a relationship with her; you are. Listen to your own heart; if she's a nice, virtuous girl, go for it (it'll only be a bonus if she's a hottie to boot, but that's beside the point). The fact that you both are friends ensures that a lot of the groundwork is already lain. It certainly would help to know exactly how she thought of your feelings towards her once she discovered them.

Before taking the plunge, however, the issue at hand is the aftermath of her ordeal. She's almost certainly not ready for anything relationship-related right now; the rape would have seriously affected her perceptions of trust and intimacy. For now, just continue being the good friend you've always been; support her any way you can through this trying time. Once she's over it (it can take ages, but please stay the course), then you can worry about making her yours.

West Nile wrote:before i give my answer, could i ask some additional question 1st?

1. Did the rapist get caught?
2. you do know that u'd pretty much have to marry her if you are going to get into a relationship at this stage
3. 1st love?

1. I honestly don't know. It's still in the early stages, I think it's under investigation...
2. She's planning to get it adopted, I think...
3. Yes.

tsundere9kagami2 wrote:
well realistically i think you should do what you want...screw your parents you are a frickin genius going to uni youve done everything on their terms until now and i think they can cut you a little slack...(just a little) Plus(+(addendum)) its not her fault she got raped...(is it?) so why should it be held against her (will it?)

REally how did she get raped just how? what kind of person are we talking about?
If it was a very forceful traumatizing event for her it might be hard to even get close! And she might not think of sex (or men)(or relationships)the same way anymore.

Personally, I hold nothing against her. She's Christian, so she doesn't want an abortion, but I don't see that that can be held against her either...
I don't know how, all I know is that it was a supposed friend who asked her round to his house and ended up raping her there. It's not something I'm going to press her about, I think it was hard enough for her to even tell me what she has.

Nachtsider wrote:First off, let me say that arranged marriages are a crock of shit, and a cause of many a failed bond and abject misery.

Knowing your parents, they're probably going to label your friend as 'tainted' and tell you to stay away from her, but that is unfair as all hell - she cannot be faulted for undergoing what she did, and does not deserve to have her trauma compounded by such stigmatization. Furthermore, it's her future and yours that's the issue here - your parents aren't the ones going to start a relationship with her; you are. Listen to your own heart; if she's a nice, virtuous girl, go for it (it'll only be a bonus if she's a hottie to boot, but that's beside the point). The fact that you both are friends ensures that a lot of the groundwork is already lain. It certainly would help to know exactly how she thought of your feelings towards her once she discovered them.

Before taking the plunge, however, the issue at hand is the aftermath of her ordeal. She's almost certainly not ready for anything relationship-related right now; the rape would have seriously affected her perceptions of trust and intimacy. For now, just continue being the good friend you've always been; support her any way you can through this trying time. Once she's over it (it can take ages, but please stay the course), then you can worry about making her yours.

That's certainly some good advice, Nacht, thanks. The only thing worrying me here, aside from what'll happen to her, is that I'm likely not going to see her again after a couple of weeks. Unless I go out of my way to do so, I'll only be able to talk to her over the internet, which sucks...
You see, we're likely going to different 6th forms. From the 25th onwards, we only have to come in for exams, and I share few with her.

I know time may seem like it's of the essence, TT, but she needs ample opportunity to recover; don't dive into things just yet, as you might come across as pushy despite that obviously not being your intention. As mentioned prior, make do with what you have; use every chance you get during these two weeks to be a supportive friend. Tell her that you'll always be there for her, and stress how much you care. The most I'll allow you to reveal about your feelings at this point in time is a subtle (read: SUBTLE) hint about them when you tell her you care. Anything beyond that will be totally inadvisable.

My personal experience tells me that distance shouldn't really be an issue, what with the marvels of technology we currently enjoy. I know Internet communication can seem impersonal, but sometimes you have to make the best of what you have. Webcams might help; that way, you can at least lay eyes on each other, and won't feel so alienated. They are excellent where it comes to 'humanizing' conversations online. I'll also need to confirm if telephone conversations are really not an option; if they are, I suggest you use every weapon at your disposal. Tell your friend she can contact you whenever she feels like it. And if opportunities for in-person meetings present themselves, take them - while still understanding she needs her space. Make sure you stress that the reason for these is primarily to see her to see how she is doing. Don't overdo things; all these small caring gestures will add up in the long run.

She saw it fit to confide in you about something so horrifying. That's a good sign, you ask me. And you're very welcome. Condolences for all she had to go through.

:O

I think she's hitting on me...

lolwut?

Okay, that just about sped up the timetable. You're practically being invited in - damn the torpedoes and go full speed ahead, lad.

I think this is a pretty good quote for today...

And thanks again for your help, Nacht, I'll talk to her tomorrow and post what happens.

Wow TTIO. That's so sweet! ^_^ I think Nacht's advise is the best. It's good that she's showing interest in you. =D

It's absolutely horrible what happened to her! As a woman I can't even imagine what it was like and how traumatizing that must have been! Give her a hug for me, TTIO? ^_^

Is it actual love or is it something else setting off false emotions that you think of them to be love? Simply put, are you willing to put up with her ups and downs and wake up to that face every morning for the next 40 - 60 years of your life? Or are you just in it for the short term?

Wat many people think is love is really in fatuation- a very deep admiration for the other person but it is not long lasting as love actually is. And it may hurt when a break up occurs, but the pain quickly goes away. This can happen for may reasons, including feeing sorry for the girl.

Now as for the girl being raped, she needs a friend. And she needs that friend to tell her that the rape was not her fault that she is still accepted as the person she is as she was before the rape. But you will need to know that her attitude on life and sex have completely changed right now because of this, and she will be unstable and quite emotional in the most misoppertune moments until she herself accepts herself as the person she is and not as a rape victim. She is who she is- what ever her name maybe, nothing else has changed based on that.

As a rape victim, you are now dealing with a broke person, broken into pieces by the act of rape has done on her psychie. You as a friend are going to need to take those broken pieces glue them together for her, and hold them in place as the glue dries. I had done this with several raped friends in the past, and its no easy task. This relationship is no longer of convience, but now of need, and you are going to put into this relationship for her more than she could ever give back to you, so... dont be looking for returns on such an investment. Sorry for being harsh- but this is how its going to be.

Arranged marriages? Bah! You can go all the way to the alter and still have the right to say 'I Dont!' So think of it in that term. Such marriages do not work, and when it did, its a lot of work that two very lonely people had to put toegether.

What can I say, TITO? Everything has been said by others.
But you need to be strong, because somebody is depending on you for it. Your emotions have to take a back seat to all this, but at least being in the back seat, they are there for the ride.

Personally- it is my opion that it is a mistake for her to keep the child. A child of a rape victim is not a beautiful thing, because throughout the pregnancy and later on in life, it will be a constant reminder for her of what happaned. If she can get an abortion (less then 3 months), she should get it. Between 3 - 5 months, she should consult a doc first before tempting such a thing, but most importantly she should act NOW and not procastinate. Procastination will only further the pregnancy to its final step- birth.

Once all this has been dealt with, then you can do with dealing with your emotions for her. But mind you, relationship speaking and sexually speaking, she may not be ready for much of anything.

Triela wrote:Wow TTIO. That's so sweet! ^_^ I think Nacht's advise is the best. It's good that she's showing interest in you. =D

It's absolutely horrible what happened to her! As a woman I can't even imagine what it was like and how traumatizing that must have been! Give her a hug for me, TTIO? ^_^

I'm glad at the way this has all turned out, except for the rape and pregnancy part, of course
And I certainly will.

ElfenMagix wrote:Is it actual love or is it something else setting off false emotions that you think of them to be love? Simply put, are you willing to put up with her ups and downs and wake up to that face every morning for the next 40 - 60 years of your life? Or are you just in it for the short term?

Simply put, I don't know. I can put up with her downs, I know that much, and there isn't exactly anything to put up with as far as ups are concerned
I've never been in this situation before, so I've got nothing to compare it with.

ElfenMagix wrote:Now as for the girl being raped, she needs a friend. And she needs that friend to tell her that the rape was not her fault that she is still accepted as the person she is as she was before the rape. But you will need to know that her attitude on life and sex have completely changed right now because of this, and she will be unstable and quite emotional in the most misoppertune moments until she herself accepts herself as the person she is and not as a rape victim. She is who she is- what ever her name maybe, nothing else has changed based on that.

As a rape victim, you are now dealing with a broke person, broken into pieces by the act of rape has done on her psychie. You as a friend are going to need to take those broken pieces glue them together for her, and hold them in place as the glue dries. I had done this with several raped friends in the past, and its no easy task. This relationship is no longer of convience, but now of need, and you are going to put into this relationship for her more than she could ever give back to you, so... dont be looking for returns on such an investment. Sorry for being harsh- but this is how its going to be.

I understand that, and for her, I'd be willing to do so. I care for her a lot, and have done for some time, so if that's what it takes then that's what I'll do. Thanks for pointing that out though, if only as a warning of what's to come.

ElfenMagix wrote:Arranged marriages? Bah! You can go all the way to the alter and still have the right to say 'I Dont!' So think of it in that term. Such marriages do not work, and when it did, its a lot of work that two very lonely people had to put toegether.

Each to his own
If done properly, arranged marriages can work out far better than non-arranged. It's a matter of making sure it is done properly, and you're certain when you decide to go through with it.

ElfenMagix wrote:Personally- it is my opinion that it is a mistake for her to keep the child. A child of a rape victim is not a beautiful thing, because throughout the pregnancy and later on in life, it will be a constant reminder for her of what happened. If she can get an abortion (less then 3 months), she should get it. Between 3 - 5 months, she should consult a doc first before tempting such a thing, but most importantly she should act NOW and not procastinate. Procastination will only further the pregnancy to its final step- birth.

Once all this has been dealt with, then you can do with dealing with your emotions for her. But mind you, relationship speaking and sexually speaking, she may not be ready for much of anything.

I can say whatever I like to her, she's never going to get an abortion (as we discussed in the chatbox). Still, getting it adopted is a better idea than most

Thanks for your advice from the chatbox as well, it should prove very helpful

At first I was going to say you're probably just experiencing a crush, but after your last post I think differently. Love is more than just an emotion - it's deep down caring for someone through the good and the bad. It's a commitment and a choice; the emotions flow from that. Make sure you have much more than just emotions for her before even considering a long term relationship. From what you've said you appear to have that part covered, but it never hurts to double check such things.

Right now she probably needs your understanding and support more than love. Putting your feelings aside for a while is probably the best thing you can do. Especially since you're still trying to sort them out yourself. Also keep the long term in mind - have patience to wait until she's ready for a relationship and know that it takes years to build a worthwhile bond. Don't be afraid of being physically separated for a time - if she's the one for you, you'll have her in the end. Just don't let your emotions get the better of you in the meantime.

Well, that grew much larger than I originally intended. Nacht and Elfen's advice is sound, follow it. And remember: even if you're not able start a relationship with her in the end, it's not the end of the world - you'll find the right person in the end.

Quick post...

Would you rather end up disappointed, or would you rather not know for the rest of your life?

My advice: Go for it.

In my case, I was scared that the relationship I have with Rebecca would be forever lost if I asked her out. Now that I asked, the weight is off my shoulders and I can rest easy, but I can tell you that not knowing is a million times worse than being rejected.

KodokuRyuu wrote:At first I was going to say you're probably just experiencing a crush, but after your last post I think differently. Love is more than just an emotion - it's deep down caring for someone through the good and the bad. It's a commitment and a choice; the emotions flow from that. Make sure you have much more than just emotions for her before even considering a long term relationship. From what you've said you appear to have that part covered, but it never hurts to double check such things.

Right now she probably needs your understanding and support more than love. Putting your feelings aside for a while is probably the best thing you can do. Especially since you're still trying to sort them out yourself. Also keep the long term in mind - have patience to wait until she's ready for a relationship and know that it takes years to build a worthwhile bond. Don't be afraid of being physically separated for a time - if she's the one for you, you'll have her in the end. Just don't let your emotions get the better of you in the meantime.

Well, that grew much larger than I originally intended. Nacht and Elfen's advice is sound, follow it. And remember: even if you're not able start a relationship with her in the end, it's not the end of the world - you'll find the right person in the end.

I wholeheartedly agree with this notion. Your emotions can get the best of you and you could make choices that you will regret. Think it over and give it time.

i can't say anything else. nacth and elfen are the experts and their advice is as best as what you can get.

i'll just remind you several point

1. what she need now is a person who can accept her as she is, not love. (i'm pretty sure you already know about it, just a reminder)

2. once she's fine, there is no guarantee she will be with you. she might avoiding you because you've been kind to her at her time in needs. (again, a reminder)

3. don't worry about your parent for now. help another is more important than what your parent think about it. especially a best friend. (another reminder)

last words:

Good luck. even if you don't get her, you'll still be remembered as her hero for the rest of her life, if you success too "glue her back". She's christian? then pray for her.

destroyer wrote:she might avoiding you because you've been kind to her at her time in needs

wat

she might avoiding you because you've been kind to her at her time in needs

I couldn't agree more at some point.

There are girls who can, to an extent, 'read' the emotions and reactions of boys and technically know that the boy is attracted to her. If she feels defensive, she'll go for the avoidance path.

She's christian? then pray for her.

That's even better.

My advice in this case is not to take it into yourself personally, but call others who are willing to care.

Another before attempting to approach her is this, ask yourself whether are you sure of your decision. Do you want to be there? Are your feeling sincere and not mere physical attraction? Relationship is a tough commitment, and I dare say TOUGH. You have to understand that in all cases, you have to accept her the way she is.

...and I do support her standing for not going for abortion. Well, it must have been tough for her to pull that decision.

supposed friend who asked her round to his house and ended up raping her there.

She must have a lot of trust to this 'friend'. I suspect someone close--such as a school friend, church friend or whatnot. Having that much trust means anyone can manipulate it, say for example asking her for a 'help' on a subject or an activity.

Then again, looking at this meant you have to look at the other side of the fence as well. Did she did something that provoke the act? Although in most cases, the boy will lose.


What I can say is (and conclude), is how technically this 'friend' of hers has destroyed her wedding night. If you're willing to stay close to her of all cases and accept the fact, ignoring the idea of her having gone through such event then go for it. If possible (though not advised), 'marry' her and weight the same responsibility with her.

Just remember not to invite her to your house when you know that no one's at home.

Panzer IV wrote:Did she did something that provoke the act?

Panzer IV wrote:If possible (though not advised), 'marry' her and weight the same responsibility with her.

Just remember not to invite her to your house when you know that no one's at home.

I think these statements were totally uncalled for. No-one is to blame for a rape apart from the perpetrator. And why should it be inadvisable for TT to be with her and for them to enjoy intimacy?

Agreed.

A reminder towards what REAL intimacy is could go a long way towards the poor girl putting this behind her and possibly even better aiding her in putting this guy away.

Be her rock TTIO, we know you can.

No-one is to blame for a rape apart from the perpetrator.

But there are at some cases and at least 40% chance that the rape is triggered by the illicit act of the victim.
Although again, the perpetrator IS the one to blame, having to know that simple fact could weigh differently in court considering the punishment.

And why should it be inadvisable for TT to be with her and for them to enjoy intimacy?

There's this idea of how much more time you have to sacrifice when you're in school and in a relationship. If you can managed that flawlessly, then there is no problem. But if it began to hinder, start thinking of a way to reorganize your study schedule if the idea of going to a good university lingers in the mind.

yes, be her port in the storm but do remember that you also have future to contend with.

I'm not exactly worried about sex right now anyway

But I asked her, as Nacht advised, and she said no. To be precise, she said that she would've said yes if I'd asked a bit later (a few weeks), but that she needed her space right now, which is entirely understandable. I still feel exactly the same way towards her, and she knows that, but I'm not certain if this'll go anywhere now.

I'm alright though, so long as she's ok.

Ah, hell.

In retrospect, I ought to have asked exactly how she was 'coming on to you' before giving a reply, and by not probing for more info first, I contradicted my previous advice about being subtle. But what's done is done, I suppose. Hopefully this doesn't mean she'll say no again if you ask her a second time much later. At least she's happy, as you say...

Boy, do I feel stupid.

It should be alright. The only difference, it seems, is that now she knows how I feel...

... well i guess i came too late... but i hope we can be kept posted on what happens know that she knows...

Panzer IV wrote:

No-one is to blame for a rape apart from the perpetrator.

But there are at some cases and at least 40% chance that the rape is triggered by the illicit act of the victim.

HURR HURR. I'm sorry, but you just pulled that percentage out of your ass.


Anyways, YAY FOR TTIO!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!

I'm sorry, but you just pulled that percentage out of your ass.

Of course I did. Its called blind estimation for a reason and done directly up on my head. Basically saying, there are a small to an average extent the act was triggered because of the illicit act of the victim. Therefore, pulling into conclusion and judging that it is all entirely the fault of the perpetrator is a fallacy

It should be alright. The only difference, it seems, is that now she knows how I feel...

Ahaha don't worry, its good to keep tabs up. At least she know, that's one thing. Another good thing is that despite knowing what she went through you still want to go out with her. That means a lot to her...I think.

Just be sure that if you did go out with her to pay close care and attention towards her. She'll be pretty fragile from here forward, I guess...

Yeah, I didn't talk to her too much today, primarily because I didn't see her. But when I did, she acted pretty much as though nothing had happened. Is that a good sign?

Whatface wrote:Anyways, YAY FOR TTIO!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!

Congratulations that I asked someone out? Wow, you know me too well I've had the exact same comments from most of my friends in RL (that know)

Panzer IV wrote:Ahaha don't worry, its good to keep tabs up. At least she know, that's one thing. Another good thing is that despite knowing what she went through you still want to go out with her. That means a lot to her...I think.

Just be sure that if you did go out with her to pay close care and attention towards her. She'll be pretty fragile from here forward, I guess...

Thanks for that. In all honesty, this is the hardest thing I've ever done, and that sort of thing is quite helpful...

TTIO wrote:Yeah, I didn't talk to her too much today, primarily because I didn't see her. But when I did, she acted pretty much as though nothing had happened. Is that a good sign?

It might be a good Sign. I often know that people who have gone through such a traumatic experience to make a good recovery by just moving on as if nothing has happened.

There is a chance that she is still hurting inside because of all of this. At the moment, I'd suggest that you don't bring the matter up again and just be there for her as a close friend and a shoulder to lean on for support of she wishes too be supported.

Tommygunner70 wrote:

TTIO wrote:Yeah, I didn't talk to her too much today, primarily because I didn't see her. But when I did, she acted pretty much as though nothing had happened. Is that a good sign?

It might be a good Sign. I often know that people who have gone through such a traumatic experience to make a good recovery by just moving on as if nothing has happened.

There is a chance that she is still hurting inside because of all of this. At the moment, I'd suggest that you don't bring the matter up again and just be there for her as a close friend and a shoulder to lean on for support of she wishes too be supported.

wait, the "nothing had happened" ur referring to is the rape or you asking her out?

West Nile wrote:wait, the "nothing had happened" ur referring to is the rape or you asking her out?

The former with a big emphasis on "as if".

Yeah, I didn't talk to her too much today, primarily because I didn't
see her. But when I did, she acted pretty much as though nothing had
happened. Is that a good sign?

Here's two things.

If she's avoiding you, there's a probability (possibility) that your act of confession left an awkward feeling towards her and she refused to see you. This could possibly lead to misinterpretation of events:

1. If you decided to avoid her in return, she might start to think you are caring for her all this time just because you wanted to date her (I'm not expanding further on this one considering the sit.)

2. If you DO actually search for her during lunch breaks in regards to a given 'free time' such as study periods etc, then actually engages her in a friendly conversation (avoiding the topic of dating and all that), then it shows her that you actually give a lot of care towards her and her current situation.

So is it a good thing? I don't think so. But is it good? To an extent, yes. If she's looking for personal space atm, then there is a reason why. What I can say is best engage her in a friendly conversation about school, studies, tests, games, etc. and avoid the discussion relating to dating and what-not.

Panzer IV wrote:If she's avoiding you, there's a probability (possibility) that your act of confession left an awkward feeling towards her and she refused to see you. This could possibly lead to misinterpretation of events:

She's not been avoiding me, per se. Rather, I just didn't see her (she's notoriously hard to find at lunch/break, for most of us )

Panzer IV wrote:2. If you DO actually search for her during lunch breaks in regards to a given 'free time' such as study periods etc, then actually engages her in a friendly conversation (avoiding the topic of dating and all that), then it shows her that you actually give a lot of care towards her and her current situation.

So is it a good thing? I don't think so. But is it good? To an extent, yes. If she's looking for personal space atm, then there is a reason why. What I can say is best engage her in a friendly conversation about school, studies, tests, games, etc. and avoid the discussion relating to dating and what-not.

Well, that's good. That's exactly what I've been trying to do

So three possibly important things happened today:
1. She's apparently been considerably happier this week, as one of my other friends told me. Said other friend theorises that that's to do with me asking her out, though I'm glad of it regardless.
2. I got two hugs from her today. That's never happened before
3. We had a Music exam and, again for the first time, she waited for me at the end. Not only that, but we walked rather slowly out of the school to the point where we needed to seperate - whether that was caused by her or me though, I couldn't tell.

Also, my subconscious is being cheesy. I've had this stuck in my head for nearing three days now...

TTIO wrote:
Also, my subconscious is being cheesy. I've had this stuck in my head for nearing three days now...

It's your theme song!

LOLZ

I'm feeling less stupid, all of a sudden. The developments you're mentioning make me think she's warming to you, which really might be a result of you spitting it out like we suggested.

And you're not being cheesy - just being in touch with how you feel about her. That song is lovely.

Well, that's good. That's exactly what I've been trying to do

So three possibly important things happened today:
1.
She's apparently been considerably happier this week, as one of my
other friends told me. Said other friend theorises that that's to do
with me asking her out, though I'm glad of it regardless.
2. I got two hugs from her today. That's never happened before
3.
We had a Music exam and, again for the first time, she waited for me at
the end. Not only that, but we walked rather slowly out of the school
to the point where we needed to seperate - whether that was caused by
her or me though, I couldn't tell.

Also, my subconscious is being cheesy. I've had this stuck in my head for nearing three days now...

Well THAT's a spot of good news! Its love-love~! Hahahaha!!

1. She's apparently been considerably happier this week, as one of my
other friends told me. Said other friend theorises that that's to do
with me asking her out, though I'm glad of it regardless.

Just remember: Don't get it in OVER your heads.

One thing that I haven't tell those who actually knew my past state is that the fact that the same person who sent me to my hiki-state in year 9-10 was the same person who actually saved me. Why I was in for the first place? Because I rushed in too fast and was over in my head and failed to read the 'signs'. Well, there are other factors, but that is not important at the moment...

2. I got two hugs from her today. That's never happened before
3.
We had a Music exam and, again for the first time, she waited for me at
the end. Not only that, but we walked rather slowly out of the school
to the point where we needed to separate - whether that was caused by
her or me though, I couldn't tell.

There are signs if a girl likes you. For Kusunoki-san, she predictably cups her cheeks with her palms when she's blushing and attempts to prevent eye-contact at the state--that I just figured 2 days ago. Funny how we've been going for 2 years...

But judging from your reply...technically and indirectly in my opinion she accepted your proposal. I do have to comment that in way you guys are already dating and is a couple--despite her refusal towards your proposal.
So, wait for a week or two and say that 'my offer still stands' or something along the line of you proposing her and see if she accepts it (that depends on how much she has recovered)

Well, you have my prayers T-san. You watch for her and support her, ok? If you DARE go further than 'base 1' I will seriously curse you


also, don't forget that you are still in school and you still have a future to contend with!

Ah, we hug all the time, even back when I wasn't in love with her

Question: What's base 1? Though I wasn't intending to do anything more than support her anyway, I've never understood the base metaphor...

Also, my sister just reminded me of what my french teacher said to me a few months back. She was saying all of the things that I now mustn't do as I'm nearing the exams. Last one? Don't fall in love

Last one? Don't fall in love

There you go! You broke the last rule

But yeah, the point is it can serve as a major distraction during exam if you decided to focus your time on her instead of your studies.

Unless of course, the two of you are supporting each other and decide to study on the same subject together AT THE FULLEST, then that could actually be a great stepping stone. I know it did on my English exam

What's base 1

Metaphorically speaking...

its like baseball, but its not.

base 1: Holding hands, kiss.
base 2: touching...with clothes on
base 3: fondling...with clothes off
homerun: you get the idea.

Well, if you did go over base 1, then I will seriously curse you

WRONG.

First base = kissing
Second base = touching beneath clothing
Third base = oral sex
Homerun = proper sex

Ah yes, that.

Well, Nacht-sen has the more accurate and correct version.

...so don't go over 1st base of all cases

Ah, fair enough. I looked over the xkcd version of it once. Man, that was confusing...

Nachtsider wrote:
Third base = oral sex

Oral Sex...
Sora and I are good at that. She says "Screw you." and then I say "Bite me."

Did we really need to know that?

Whatface wrote:Did we really need to know that?

It was intended as a joke

That was quite random...

Anyway, you guys were right. She's definitely warming to me. Not only did I get three hugs today () but they were all a lot... better, more loving, shall we say, than the normal ones. Basically, they were longer, firmer, and warmer.

And I had two hours today with her, throughout she was happier than I've seen her in a long time...
Whether that's as a result of me or not, I don't know, but it's good regardless

Nachtsider wrote:

Same here.

Though I wonder if you couldn't have picked a guy that looked more content then this chap.

Well, if you follow the film that scene's from, Tommy, he's actually very content and proud of what he's seeing. But yeah, you may be right...

Man, and I thought I'm one who mostly 'diverge' from the topic.

That was quite random...

Anyway, you guys were right. She's definitely warming to me. Not only did I get three hugs today ()
but they were all a lot... better, more loving, shall we say, than the
normal ones. Basically, they were longer, firmer, and warmer.

And I had two hours today with her, throughout she was happier than I've seen her in a long time...
Whether that's as a result of me or not, I don't know, but it's good regardless

But T-san, I have to say...

That news made my day. One of the better news I heard this week...aside from Arisa-tan who jumps for joy and hug me when she finished her last exam this week--physics exam--on Thursday.

Just remember, don't jump the gun too fast.

....and I'm a little curious for some reason, but do you have any 'major' school events coming this month (or next month)? Maybe something worth picture taking? Or a concert or something?



Another thing is...let me ask you, honestly since I'm slightly worried for a strange reason. You're *technically* not attracted to her mainly for physical reasons such as face, hair, etc.? There's an attraction between character too, right? And personality? Because if it is physical attraction, you best realize that she'll change in a matter of months.

Bravo! Fucking bravo on obtaining a future wife