views on life, the universe and everything from watching Japanese Anime

by Awinnell Fri 25 Mar 2011 - 16:27

i was wondering,if your only knowledge of life, the universe and everything came from watching Anime,how would see the culture ?

i thought i'd make a list ,

1 : do not mess with Schoolgirls,they either have superhuman powers or access to military hardware !

2 :most Japanese men are completely clueless about girls

3 :In a fight stay with the Emo kid, he's usually going to survive !

4 :Medicine is either very good(hyper advanced),or very very bad (how many anime characters die from a fever, that generally could be treated with a course of antibiotics?)

5 :the chain of command is optional,orders can be ignored if theres a chance of making yourself look good

please feel free to add any other Anime insights

by **Kiskaloo** Fri 25 Mar 2011 - 16:43

Be sure to study Engineering in school because you're probably going to end up piloting a giant robot.

And even though most Japanese men are clueless about girls, girls seem to like that and flock to them like moths to flames, though they don't like to admit it in public.

by Entropy Fri 25 Mar 2011 - 17:07

Stay away from old, abandoned school houses.

Everyone from the west has blond hair. Every. Last. One.

by Awinnell Fri 25 Mar 2011 - 17:23

chances are, a girls first time will involve a tentacle

by Professor Voodoo Fri 25 Mar 2011 - 18:26

Awinnell wrote:chances are, a girls first time will involve a tentacle

Or maybe something worse... (warning; tasteless)

Spoiler:

by **Nachtsider** Fri 25 Mar 2011 - 19:31

Strong women love wimps.

Every maid or au pair will wear a French maid's outfit.

Every Japanese girl is either a virgin or has more experience than an entire whorehouse put together. And any girl in the former category will turn into one from the second category sooner or later.

'I'll fuck you until you love me' is a truism.

STDs are a myth.

Awinnell wrote:chances are, a girls first time will involve dozens of tentacles. And she will relish every last second of it.

Fixed.

by Guest Fri 25 Mar 2011 - 20:39

1- Americans are idiots
2- pop music is a strategic weapon for the JSDF
3- child services doesn't exist
4- the JSDF are idiots who allow children to fight for them
5- knowing martial arts makes you walking weapon of mass destruction

by Professor Voodoo Fri 25 Mar 2011 - 20:45

In any fight you are obligated to shout out the name of the technique/maneuver/trick you are about to utilize before doing so.

by SPARTAN 119 Fri 25 Mar 2011 - 20:57

I can't believe no one has said this one (not Japanese culture per-se, but):
*The Italian government has a secret organization for converting little girls into killer cyborgs.

And some others:
*Small villages in rural Japan have high murder rates, particularly among those under the age of 18.
*God is a Japanese schoolgirl...
*Unless He's an evil bastard who makes people kill each other to become his successor.
*The Second World War was fought between invading aliens and girls with leg propellers, who happened not to wear pants.
*Ninjas wear orange jumpsuits and talk in stupidly loud voices.
*If a girls says she doesn't like you, keep going after her, she's just being tsundere.
*All Japanese males have some form of costume fetish, typically a schoolgirl or maid.
*Learn the difference between a nekomimi and diclonius. It could save your life.
*It is possible to cut a bullet out the air with a katana.
*It is also possible to shoot down a bullet with another bullet.
*And to shoot down a helicopter with a torpedo.
*There are no police or other authorities.
*Either that, or they have tanks.

by Piero Fri 25 Mar 2011 - 22:04

If a magical girl offers you her friendship, its best to just accept it. You'll end up accepting it in the end regardless and it's less painful if you do it right away.

by SPARTAN 119 Sat 26 Mar 2011 - 0:04

*Things that can give you superpowers include, but are not limited too: finding a magical artifact, practicing martial arts, cybernetics, haxoring real life, writing weird symbols on an athletic field, one's own fetishes, alien ancestry, demonic ancestry, vampire ancestry, rejecting others' reality and substituting your own, having a near-death experience, dying, being remembered as a hero and subsequently being revived as a heroic spirit, and dying and being revived by a necromancer.

*If your ship ends up in the middle of a sea storm, expect to to transported back in time.
*A human(oid) body can store exponentially more energy than the worlds entire nuclear arsenal.
*The shape of a human body is the ideal form for a military vehicle and definitely does not have any obvious weaknesses *cough*legs*cough*
*Such a vehicle can play the role of both a ground vehicle and a combat air/space craft.
*It also does not need a camouflage paintjob, in fact, make it as noticeable as possible.
*Everything needs more schoolgirls, maids, aliens, supernatural beings, samurai, ninjas, mecha, swords, guns, and martial arts. Preferably all of the above.
*High school romances are serious business, indeed, they are worth committing murder over.

*Nobody sees anything wrong with giving teenagers or even children command of a giant combat robot, a heavily armed nuclear submarine-aircraft carrier, magical powers capable of vaporizing cities, vaguely defined cybernetics that allow one to generate nuclear-level blasts, the ability to summon powerful supernatural entities, or godlike powers.

by **rusty-spring** Sat 26 Mar 2011 - 1:48

Some might have been said in a various form or other before, but I couldn't just write a list with one or two items. Razz

- Swords are better than guns. End of discussion.
- 99% of all mothers are going to be just as youthful/pretty looking as their daughters.
- At any moment 80% of all parents are "away on business trips" or "work outside the country."
- Related to above, 80% of all kids live alone in giant apartments
- It's absolutely OK to lust after blood relatives.
- Breasts are exempt from the laws of physics.
- The younger you are, the more capable you are at anything.
- In Japan, albino children with white hair and red eyes are adored as the cutest beings on Earth.

by Awinnell Sat 26 Mar 2011 - 2:00

never pick just one girl from a group,Harems are the way to go,especially if you are too thick to realise you have one

animals can generally talk,but most aliens only make wailing song like sounds

the student council has absoloute power no one can overturn their decisions not even the headteacher or government

if you want to make a girl look cute make her wear glasses

by Professor Voodoo Sat 26 Mar 2011 - 2:07

Blue/pink/purple hair? Completely normal.

by Awinnell Sat 26 Mar 2011 - 2:10

Professor Voodoo wrote:Blue/pink/purple hair? Completely normal.

don't forget green

by **Nachtsider** Sat 26 Mar 2011 - 2:11

A lot of this stuff has little to do with 'cultural ideas' anymore. I think some kind of title change is in order - any suggestions?

by **rusty-spring** Sat 26 Mar 2011 - 2:49

"A Dirty Gaijin's Guide to Japan." Razz

by 124C41 Sat 26 Mar 2011 - 6:17

Japanese are weak to anything labeled "Special Edition."

A good sword will cut through ANYTHING.

A skilled martial artist kills with dramatic pause.

You're already dead, you don't even know it.

Japanese girls often grab each others breasts in the changing room.

The goal of any respectable Japanese maga-corporation must be world domination.

by Awinnell Sat 26 Mar 2011 - 11:09

Nachtsider wrote:A lot of this stuff has little to do with 'cultural ideas' anymore. I think some kind of title change is in order - any suggestions?

altered

by SPARTAN 119 Sat 26 Mar 2011 - 12:40

124C41 wrote:
Japanese girls often grab each others breasts in the changing room.

Related: The majority of Japanese girls are closet lesbians or bisexuals. Many of the rest are overt lesbians/bisexuals.

by Awinnell Sat 26 Mar 2011 - 12:47

Random girls will feel the need to take a bath in your house without telling you, but fail to lock the door and will scream and call you a pervert when you walk into your own bathroom

by **Triela** Sat 26 Mar 2011 - 13:26

I've learned a lot from anime, mostly about the food they eat and some of the cultural aspects. What I hate are the fans that think that anime is all Japan IS. >_<

by **Kiskaloo** Sat 26 Mar 2011 - 13:43

Triela wrote:What I hate are the fans that think that anime is all Japan IS. >_<

views on life, the universe and everything from watching Japanese Anime Japan

by SPARTAN 119 Sat 26 Mar 2011 - 20:40

Triela wrote:I've learned a lot from anime, mostly about the food they eat and some of the cultural aspects.

Anime is actually also is a great tool for learning mostly useless Japanese words and phrases.

by **Nachtsider** Sat 26 Mar 2011 - 21:17

Especially if you're watching fansubbed anime and those goddamn translator's notes are present.

Lord, I hate those.

by SPARTAN 119 Sat 26 Mar 2011 - 21:22

Nachtsider wrote:Especially if you're watching fansubbed anime and those goddamn translator's notes are present.

Lord, I hate those.

views on life, the universe and everything from watching Japanese Anime Anime-fansub-failure-001

by **Nachtsider** Sat 26 Mar 2011 - 22:08

Fuck you, Spartan. Fuck you. Laughing

by **Kiskaloo** Sat 26 Mar 2011 - 22:09

Japanese teenagers are the ultimate moral authority.

by **ElfenMagix** Sat 26 Mar 2011 - 22:51

SPARTAN 119 wrote:
*Learn the difference between a nekomimi and diclonius. It could save your life.

by theprodigalson Sat 26 Mar 2011 - 23:14

Dont worry about falling in Japan:

1: If you are female a male will always catch you.
2: If you are male your fall will be cushioned by the boobs of a well endowed female.

(It should be noted that the male version will result in a severe beating by one or more females as well as a now tarnished reputation as a pervert. It's a cost/benefit thing.

On a serious note, I was wondering lately how Japanese culture views its females. On one hand they seem to be objectified to a ridiculous level, but on the other hand the most interesting and dynamic characters in anime/manga are almost always female.

I recognize that a single entertainment medium is hardly a microcosm of a culture, and that the industry has been sticking to its guns (Otaku fanbase) lately in hard economic times, but was still curious.

by Awinnell Sun 27 Mar 2011 - 7:26

the men of Japan are now seen by their women as being 'Herbivores' ,they run classes to teach men how to react to and treat the ladies.

the Ladies are the ones on the prowl around the bars of Tokyo, with a lot of the old 'Hostess bars ' becoming 'Host bars ' !

by **Nachtsider** Sun 27 Mar 2011 - 7:46

theprodigalson wrote:On one hand they seem to be objectified to a ridiculous level...

From what I understand, the women actually find this more amusing than anything else.

by **rusty-spring** Sun 27 Mar 2011 - 12:57

Nachtsider wrote:Especially if you're watching fansubbed anime and those goddamn translator's notes are present.

Lord, I hate those.

This x 10000. Perhaps one of my biggest peeves of all time about watching anime. One reason I usually just wait till it's licensed or not bother with subs at all.

by Piero Sun 27 Mar 2011 - 17:04

I sample like eight to twelve fansubbed shows each season (though I usually only complete about four) and I can't remember the last time I saw one that used a lot of translator's notes. Then again I don't remember ever seeing very many fansubs that had an excess of translator's notes. Most of the cases I can remember translator's notes being used they were actually used fairly appropriately for things like explaining humor that depended on ideosyncracies of the language and wouldn't translate well into English. Though then again my brother is kind of selective about which groups he gets our fansubs from.

Actually the most memorable recent case of a questionable translator's note that I can think of was from a professionally translated version of a Japanese novel. Some rich character made a comment about how a location was a certain amount of time away by helicopter and someone saw fit to include a note about how it would be much farther away by train and how that was how most people in Japan got around. bang head

by Five_X Sun 27 Mar 2011 - 17:28

Remember: in Japan, Cthulhu and fellow members of the Lovecraft Mythos are everywhere, especially in the bodies of lolis.

Everyone speak terrible English, including native English speaker.

by Piero Sun 27 Mar 2011 - 17:32

Five_X wrote:Everyone speak terrible English, including native English speaker.

Especially native English speakers. Razz

by Awinnell Sun 27 Mar 2011 - 18:57

vampires are real,but contrary to popular belief they can walk in the sunlight, wear crosses and love garlic

by **Nachtsider** Sun 27 Mar 2011 - 20:15

Piero wrote:Most of the cases I can remember translator's notes being used they were actually used fairly appropriately for things like explaining humor that depended on ideosyncracies of the language and wouldn't translate well into English. Though then again my brother is kind of selective about which groups he gets our fansubs from.

If you think something wouldn't translate well into English, replace it with a suitable approximation. A lot of people don't give a damn about cultural/linguistic nitty-gritty; they just want to enjoy the show they're watching.

Also, thread title revised. Again.

by Entropy Sun 27 Mar 2011 - 20:36

Nachtsider wrote:
Piero wrote:Most of the cases I can remember translator's notes being used they were actually used fairly appropriately for things like explaining humor that depended on ideosyncracies of the language and wouldn't translate well into English. Though then again my brother is kind of selective about which groups he gets our fansubs from.
If you think something wouldn't translate well into English, replace it with a suitable approximation. A lot of people don't give a damn about cultural/linguistic nitty-gritty; they just want to enjoy the show they're watching.

Yeah many jokes especially in comedies just plum don't make sense in English or you can't translate it...many times for official translations they'll completely change jokes to avoid copious amounts of explanations. Linguistics geeks do, in the end, often make the mistake that not everyone is as interested in the nuances of the language as they are.

by Piero Sun 27 Mar 2011 - 21:08

Sometimes attempts to localize don't work very well. I'd rather see the occasional translator's note then see something fall flat or even get lost in translation completely, and I've seen both things happen before. Translator's notes should be used sparingly but when used appropriately (ie not stupidly and pointlessly like in the Death Note example above) then they are a perfectly legitimate tool. Also I honestly can't remember the last time I watched a fansub where the overall number of translator's notes didn't average out to something like once every few episodes if that.

by SPARTAN 119 Sun 27 Mar 2011 - 21:40

*The remains of sunken World War II battleship make the idea hull for a combat spacecraft.
*In a zombie apocalypse, expect massive amounts of fanservice.
*All anime characters have several gallons of blood under high pressure.
*A Barrett .50 caliber rifle is most effective when fired from the hip.... By an insane guerilla turned maid.
*One giant robot is a better option for defeating the big bad than say, a tactical nuclear strike.
*Synthesia allows you to see enemies through walls.
*Many historical figures, including the Roman Emperor Nero, "King" Arthur, and "Sir" Francis Drake were actually female.
*Your little sister actually CAN be this cute, unfortunately, your protagonist CAN also be this dense.
*In a post-apocalyptic world, people will be forced to resort to melee weapons, but gasoline for cars will still be readily available.

by **Kiskaloo** Sun 27 Mar 2011 - 21:57

I like the groups who put the translator notes in a seperate text file and not as part of the encode. This was done for the Blu-ray fansubs of Seitokai Yakuindomo, which had a significant number of sexual in-jokes and sexual inuendo unique to Japanese culture.

by MP5 Sun 27 Mar 2011 - 22:18

* Japan is ~~awash~~ rife with a multitude of special forces and intelligence agencies and/or vigilante groups with capabilities that exceed even those of the Self-Defense Forces and are not held in question primarily because they are part of the police or don't technically exist. These agencies will also invariably have genetically-engineered high school girls with twin Ingram machine pistols, blind swordsmen, and teenage hackers in their ranks.

*If you send your child to do tofu delivery tuns on a treacherous mountain pass using the family car from the age of thirteen during the wee hours of the morning, by the time they graduate high school they will have enough driving skill to rival that of professional race drivers.

by Entropy Sun 27 Mar 2011 - 22:35

MP5 wrote:* Japan is awash...

Might want to avoid that sort of terminology for a little while.

by **Nachtsider** Sun 27 Mar 2011 - 23:05

No sacred cows.

by **rusty-spring** Sun 27 Mar 2011 - 23:16

One thing that I despise that happens with most fansubbed anime, heavy handed translation or not, is the constant barrage of words/symbols during the OPs. I know some people love to karaoke their songs, but that should be something left for youtube or something. Some shows have the kanji, romanji, AND THEN the English words.

Some OPs are really pretty and fun but I hate the fact that I have to go to youtube to see the raw version of it. Get the hell out of my intros scrolling, jumping, flashing words!

by theprodigalson Sun 27 Mar 2011 - 23:38

Entropy wrote:
MP5 wrote:* Japan is awash...

Might want to avoid that sort of terminology for a little while.

Too soon...

by Five_X Sun 27 Mar 2011 - 23:44

SPARTAN 119 wrote:*A Barrett .50 caliber rifle is most effective when fired from the hip.... By an insane gorrilla turned maid.

Fix'd, made it awesome for you.

by **Kiskaloo** Sun 27 Mar 2011 - 23:45

rusty-spring wrote:One thing that I despise that happens with most fansubbed anime, heavy handed translation or not, is the constant barrage of words/symbols during the OPs. I know some people love to karaoke their songs, but that should be something left for youtube or something. Some shows have the kanji, romanji, AND THEN the English words.

Some OPs are really pretty and fun but I hate the fact that I have to go to youtube to see the raw version of it. Get the hell out of my intros scrolling, jumping, flashing words!

Which is extra cool when groups release "clean" OPs and EDs. Good

by FearTheLASERFACE Mon 28 Mar 2011 - 0:16

*Girls are either stereotypically "girly" or death machines.
*Every conceivably possible color of hair exists.
*Lolita is often every other girl
*A Katana is better than a Sword Cutlass
*The laws of physics do not seem to apply
*Whenever you can, ALWAYS bring the biggest revolver you can get. No exceptions; its the only way to be sure

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