Bad Ideas

Cool, but I'd still take the EM-50 Urban Assault Vehicle:

Kiskaloo wrote:Cool, but I'd still take the EM-50 Urban Assault Vehicle:

Because it comes with pretty MPs?

Damned right! And it can make a drive to Czechoslovakia like going to Wisconsin!

D: But you could roll around with the minigun down and concealed, until you're right up by the target and brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt!!

Also, some quick google tells me: "The Micro Bus in question is a 1962 23 window VW Samba micro bus with a Porsche 912 engine and painted in Magpul Black and red with all VW logosreplaced with Magpul logos in the same style."

John_234 wrote:D: But you could roll around with the minigun down and concealed, until you're right up by the target and brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt!!

You... haven't seen the movie "Stripes" have you...

Alfisti wrote:

John_234 wrote:D: But you could roll around with the minigun down and concealed, until you're right up by the target and brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt!!

You... haven't seen the movie "Stripes" have you...

Nope.

John_234 wrote:

Alfisti wrote:

John_234 wrote:D: But you could roll around with the minigun down and concealed, until you're right up by the target and brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt!!

You... haven't seen the movie "Stripes" have you...

Nope.

Didn't think so. Watch it, you'll understand what we're talking about. "Stripes", 1981, Bill Murray.

Three Dog wrote:

Professor Voodoo wrote:

Allison: Makes perfect sense to me. That's really the only two speeds you need.

Olga: (facepalm)

Mercedes: What about Ludicrous Speed? You need Ludicrous Speed.

Jim: If you had that sort of speed, you could turn the whole of Italy into Scotland Plaid!

MP5...

Alfisti wrote:MP5...

Jean: Oh jeeze...haven't we banned cyborgs driving cars by now?

Ferro: No, some of the cyborgs have to drive as part of their duties.

Jean: Then maybe we should ban frisbees.

Allison: *looking at her MazdaSpeed MX-5* I knew I loved having one of these for a reason.

For any handlers and/or Cyborgs considering buying a classic, Jason Torchinsky of Jalopnik once again delivers a clever flowchart to help you decide which car you should buy:



Proper full-size here.

Also, have a look at the other flowcharts:

What new Car should I buy?

What SUV/CUV should I buy?

I'll just leave this here...

India...

...nuff said.

Allison is not going to like this...

EU plans to fit all cars with speed limiters

All cars could be fitted with devices that stop them going over 70mph, under new EU road safety measures which aim to cut deaths from road accidents by a third.

Under the proposals new cars would be fitted with cameras that could read road speed limit signs and automatically apply the brakes when this is exceeded.

Kiskaloo wrote:Allison is not going to like this...

EU plans to fit all cars with speed limiters

All cars could be fitted with devices that stop them going over 70mph, under new EU road safety measures which aim to cut deaths from road accidents by a third.

Under the proposals new cars would be fitted with cameras that could read road speed limit signs and automatically apply the brakes when this is exceeded.

Jim: *holding a pitchfork and torch* This is an outrage!! Send the people who dare invented that straight to the depths of Hell!! Let them burn from their sins for the Petrolheads!

Kiskaloo wrote:Allison is not going to like this...

EU plans to fit all cars with speed limiters

All cars could be fitted with devices that stop them going over 70mph, under new EU road safety measures which aim to cut deaths from road accidents by a third.

Under the proposals new cars would be fitted with cameras that could read road speed limit signs and automatically apply the brakes when this is exceeded.

Allison: This makes Germany a moot point then, doesn't it?

MP5 wrote:

Kiskaloo wrote:Allison is not going to like this...

EU plans to fit all cars with speed limiters

All cars could be fitted with devices that stop them going over 70mph, under new EU road safety measures which aim to cut deaths from road accidents by a third.

Under the proposals new cars would be fitted with cameras that could read road speed limit signs and automatically apply the brakes when this is exceeded.

Allison: This makes Germany a moot point then, doesn't it?

can't do it anyway, it would require them to make speed limits the same all across Europe and that is currently under the control of each member state who would resist any attempt to take control over their policies and it would have to go to a referendum in each country where it would die rather quickly

Kiskaloo wrote:Allison is not going to like this...

EU plans to fit all cars with speed limiters

All cars could be fitted with devices that stop them going over 70mph, under new EU road safety measures which aim to cut deaths from road accidents by a third.

Under the proposals new cars would be fitted with cameras that could read road speed limit signs and automatically apply the brakes when this is exceeded.

Well, it might save a few speed related deaths, but I reckon the number of head-ons would go up.

Seriously: how are you supposed to overtake safely (among other things) if you can't get above the posted speed limit?

*Allison comes barreling into the Q-branch workshop*

Allison: Guys! *huff, pant* Do- *huff* do we still have Priscilla's Vespa?

Fiona: Yeah, we're just taking off the jet engines. She said she didn't want to ride a supersonic scooter.

Allison: Good, because I got a better, more usable idea, anyway...

------------------------

*The next day, Priscilla wheels her Vespa outside of the SWA's main gate*

Priscilla: Oh, my good old Vespa! So nice to have you back and away from the hands of Q-branch! Now then, let's ride home like we always did.

*Priscilla starts her Vespa, buckles the chinstrap of her helmet, and then goes for the throttle, twisting, but getting not much power*

Priscilla: Weird. Maybe if I give it a little more gas--

*She twists the throttle harder, and the recently-installed turbocharger spools, sending Priscilla and the Vespa rocketing down the road*

Priscilla: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

Jim: I knew it. I so knew it. (brings in a box of new cylinder heads) They should have mechanically tuned the engine!

Ferro: Due to budgetary constraints, fratelli will be issued petrol-less vehicles that come in kit form... Some assembly is required.

Alfisti wrote:Ferro: Due to budgetary constraints, fratelli will be issued petrol-less vehicles that come in kit form... Some assembly is required.

Kara: "How hard can it be?"

Jim: I have my doubts on its durability.  Oh, well. (starts building)

Jean: You cyborgs have been acting entirely too cocky in recent weeks.  You seem to be forgetting that you can be replaced.

Triela: Replaced?  Yeah right.  By whom?



Marisa: Seriously?

Elio: Hmmm, I kind of like this idea. My current cyborg partner has never brought me my slippers at the end of a long day.

Kara: EWWWWW!  Gross, gross, gross!  It left slobber all over the butt-stock!

Ayden: Oops...sorry.  That was me.  It's lasagna day at the dining hall.

I'm guessing Lorenzo's dalmatian was the prototype?

I swear, this thread has gone to the dogs.

Doggy agent: "Ruff!"
*bulls eye every time*
 

tremec6speed wrote:Doggy agent: "Ruff!"
*bulls eye every time*
 

Jim:   You're kidding me!

Jamiebel:  What the hell?!

Davina:   How a dog can aim that well beats me.

Not to be outdone...
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Monty: Well it at least has to be more obedient than the current crop; probably smarter too.

topgearbrzgt86 wrote:Jim:   You're kidding me!

Jamiebel:  What the hell?!

Davina:   How a dog can aim that well beats me. 

Who says it's a dog in there? For all we know, the medicos could have been watching Full Metal Alchemist  

Alfisti wrote:Monty: Well it at least has to be more obedient than the current crop; probably smarter too.

topgearbrzgt86 wrote:Jim:   You're kidding me!

Jamiebel:  What the hell?!

Davina:   How a dog can aim that well beats me. 

Who says it's a dog in there? For all we know, the medicos could have been watching Full Metal Alchemist  

Monty, are you insinuating a fight? Because I think what I'm hearing is pretty aggravating right now.

Monty's never looking for a fight, that would require her to consider the rest of the world worth the time/effort of having a fight with. Obvious exception to the rule being where "having a fight/argument" comes under the heading of "part of her job".

Alfisti wrote:Monty's never looking for a fight, that would require her to consider the rest of the world worth the time/effort of having a fight with. Obvious exception to the rule being where "having a fight/argument" comes under the heading of "part of her job".

At which point Jethro was clearly not doing his job by getting her in that circumstance in the first place.

Ferro: "Effective immediately, iPod Touches are now allowed in the dorms."

Kara: "There has to be a catch..."

Spoiler:

Crystal: As if you lot would cry about somat. You all use that bubble-gum bollocks anyways.

Kiskaloo wrote:Ferro: "Effective immediately, iPod Touches are now allowed in the dorms."

Kara: "There has to be a catch..."

Spoiler:

It wouldn't be the first time a government agency paid $200 for a toothbrush...it won't be the last.

Lorenzo: Unfortunately, due to budget constraints, we've had to cut back on-mission catering.



Jethro: I'm not entirely certain that's the best idea for flying under the radar...

Not so much a bad idea, but here's a quick and practical lesson in why Jethro+Monty carry a snatch strap and winch (hand variety).

Section two agent: *staring at an empty bike rack* Where the hell did my bike go?   

With Kara's credit card bill getting out of control Michele finally put his foot down and demanded that his girl get a job so she'd learn the value of a Euro.


Michele: (facepalm) I really don't think you're understanding the point of this exercise.

Kara: *gasp* Are you implying that I should deliver pizzas in a Lexus?

Brilliant!

Is that Michele's car of the Chief's?

Professor Voodoo wrote:With Kara's credit card bill getting out of control Michele finally put his foot down and demanded that his girl get a job so she'd lean the value of a Euro.


Michele: (facepalm) I really don't think you're understanding the point of this exercise.

Kara: *gasp* Are you implying that I should deliver pizzas in a Lexus?

Jim: Just as long as that Lexus is an IS-F or RC-F, I have no qualms.  (Please let it be the RC-F, though! XD)

Professor Voodoo wrote:With Kara's credit card bill getting out of control Michele finally put his foot down and demanded that his girl get a job so she'd learn the value of a Euro.


Michele: (facepalm) I really don't think you're understanding the point of this exercise.

Kara: *gasp* Are you implying that I should deliver pizzas in a Lexus?

Raych: Danilo has a Lexus... maybe Mr. Pagani would like to borrow that?

Claes: It has poor handling, and a very confusing dashboard.  All that armour, you know.  Besides all those data screens can distract an ordinary driver, much less Kara.

After being admonished for using Director Lorenzo's Maserati Quattroporte for delivering pizza, Kara limited herself to Michele's stable.

In addition to delivering pizza, she also took up a job delivering for the local home improvement chain...

Kiskaloo wrote:After being admonished for using Director Lorenzo's Maserati Quattroporte for delivering pizza, Kara limited herself to Michele's stable.

In addition to delivering pizza, she also took up a job delivering for the local home improvement chain...

Jim: (facepalms) I know you're trying to learn the value of a euro, Kara, but really? Using an FF for home improvement chains? I am pretty disappointed. 

Kara: "Have you seen his garage? Most of his cars have cargo capacities measured in milliliters so it's not like I have a lot of choice. Since I couldn't use Mr. Lauro's Discovery or Mr. Blacker's allroad, it was either this or the DB9 and I just can't do that to an Aston."

Jim: I know, but doing this to a Ferrari seems...I dunno, wrong? Well, wrong to me, anyway. Ferrari themselves did say that the FF was to transport skis and whatnot to alpine resorts, not delivering wood - in fact, no Ferrari can do that, like you said, but that's beside the point - at least get something more sensible or work focused!

Kara (in a prim, British Royal Voice): "We are not amused..."

Kiskaloo wrote:

Kara (in a prim, British Royal Voice): "We are not amused..."

Jamiebel: Oh, you prim and proper Europeans.  I kinda like an anime Alfa. XD

Kiskaloo wrote:

Kara (in a prim, British Royal Voice): "We are not amused..."

Nope. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope...

Actually, not the most offensive I've ever seen: that prize goes to the 105 series GTV someone had done this too.

Usually I can live with the Itasha thing, but there are limits.

Well, Lamborghini was a tractor maker before Ferrari told him to go stuff himself.

Rolls-Royce SUV to launch in 2017

Kara: "Is nothing sacred? First Maserati. Then Bentley. Now Rolls-Royce! Who's next? Lotus?!"

Laine: "*cough* Lotus APX *cough*

Kara:

Claes: "Lamborghini is making an SUV. Maybe Ferrari will try one, too."

Kara: 

Claes: "Ow! Ow! Ow!"

Kiskaloo wrote:Rolls-Royce SUV to launch in 2017

Kara: "Is nothing sacred? First Maserati. Then Bentley. Now Rolls-Royce! Who's next? Lotus?!"

Laine: "*cough* Lotus APX *cough*

Kara:

Claes: "Lamborghini is making an SUV. Maybe Ferrari will try one, too."

Kara: 

Claes: "Ow! Ow! Ow!"

Jim: I honestly doubt Ferrari will bother making SUVs. Remember their "Sell less, earn more" plan? Exactly.  And the APX didn't really go on sale, it was more a concept.   God knows what Allison would think if she found out about the APX.

To be fair, Lamborghini once made an SUV before... and it was kind of epic.

Though, admittedly, probably better for being utter madness at the time, rather than sound marketing.

*Triela and Rico sprint out of a Padanian Safehouse, a case held firmly in Rico's hand*

Triela: Where is our extraction!

Rico: I don't know, where is-

Q Branch Member: Hop in!



Triela:   

Rico: Yeah! This looks cool!

*Padania run outside as the two get in*

Triela: OHHHH MMMYYYY GOOOODDDDDDD!!!!! 

*woosh*