Red Pill Blue Pill

Take a moment and imagine that you're a cyborg unit in the SWA. You've been working for the Agency for awhile now. You're handler cares for you in his/her unique way, and you would genuinely do just about anything for him/her. You've made a lot of friends with the other girls, and even though Rico's a little odd because she's so chirpy all the time and Claes is always reading, Henrietta is good to talk to, and Triela's been very helpful with just about everything. It's not all rainbows and flowers, of course. There's always the dreams that hover on the edge after you awake, and missions are always stressful. Not to mention that there's always the problem of you dying in a year or so that hangs over your head. Overall, though, you are content.

But one day, there's a glitch during one of the conditioning sessions. Dr. Bianchi and his team can't figure out what's going on, but you've started remembering things. There's a woman who's holding your hand on your first day of school, reassuring you that you'll be okay. There's the girls from class that you ate lunch, invariably a salumi and tomato sandwich with mozzarella, with all the time. You remember the one boy who always picked on you and you one day got annoyed with enough to punch in the nose, then immediately apologized profusely and loaned your handkerchief to while he pinched his nose in order to stop the bleeding.

Life before you became a cyborg was good. You had a mother and a father and friends. Everything you ever wanted and everything you ever needed, you already had. All it took was just one accident to rip you from that life, but it's not like you came from a background where your family hated you. If you went back now, your parents would be overjoyed! You remember your address, it wouldn't be difficult. One day, on a mission, slip off down an alley....

It's a tempting thought.

But you have your friends and what passes for family at the Agency to think about too. The other cyborgs are your friends, many of which you've grown very close to. Priscilla is really very kind and the various agents act as your uncles. Most of important of all is your handler. Your handler isn't a bad person, and he/she has cared for you this far, keeping you alive when bullets whizzed around you. The Agency asks a lot of you, but they also don't leave you in a shed to be called for like some dog. You are cared for, provided for, and have no real complaints. Would you really give up all this? Especially when you have a duty to fulfill, if not to the Agency, then at least to your handler, your sister cyborgs, or both?

What do you do?

Me? I'd stay with the SWA, if only because they are the family I know. I would have a hard time trying to reconcile my 'killer instincts' with a normal family.

I had a fan fic once that reminds me of this scenario.
Elsa found out a little girl around the age of 7 which had been brought to the SWA in order to be 'repaired' from an accident then returned to her wealthy parents, was in fact her sister! The bosses knew the truth but said nothing because the family had already accepted the official story of Elsa's passing.
At first Lauro too pretended he knew nothing, but after he realized Elsa learned the truth as well, he approached the cyborg to take her in for a mind-wipe. However, when the handler saw the two children chatting together as if they had never been apart, his cyborg exhibiting real emotions like a regular, normal child, shrugging off the effects of the drugs, Lauro DeSica experienced a change of heart!
Very uncharacteristically, he revealed everything to the mother and father who in turn immediately raised a stink with the connections they had in the government and corporate circles consequently, bringing the organization to an abrupt end.
(Um, Lauro for his part received a tidy sum of cash in recognition of his *good deed* and lived the rest of his life under another name in the Bahamas! Like I said er, very uncharacteristic behavior indeed)
Elsa I suppose because she was a loner and having the story placed after her disillusion with her handler, the ties were weakened enough to decide easily: The family over the organization which in her eyes cared nothing for her. Instead of offing her Brother she choose her real little sister, with memories returning the more she remained with her younger sibling. Eventually she came to understand and appreciate Lauro's role in setting her free. Needless to say, she regretted having considered killing him.
Lauro: *whew*

I'd flip a coin (working under the assuption that there is a coin or equivilent available for me to flip), but only to fool myself into thinking I was leaving it to chance... The faces of everyone I knew would flash through my mind, and I would know which needed me more. I miss my family, my friends, even that boy that punched me, but it had been so long, they were probably at peace with the loss of me. My other family though - my handler, the other cyborgs, Priscilla, even a couple of the other handlers - they knew me to be alive. They would be relying on me, I wouldn't want to let them down. I'd curse myself for even considering leaving those that needed me, then return to the mission.

But that night, as I lie in my bed, I'll wonder what it might have been like to leave? Why I didn't leave? What if my biological family still weren't over my loss? Until the conditioning made me forget, I would be forever wondering in my sleep.

I'm no longer the kid I used to be, either physically or mentally. I'm a superhuman cybernetic war machine, a meld of steel and flesh. I'm programmed to kill, and have done so dozens of times over, in the most unspeakable of ways. The blood of an army stains my hands. By virtue of my physical nature, adulthood, much less a long, fulfilling life, will never be mine to know.

Would such a child be able to live a normal existence, let alone bring happiness to their family? No way. Hell no. I love them, God, I do. But I'll never again be their little angel, the sunshine of our home. Not anymore. Going back would only bring them further sorrow - the sorrow of seeing an inhuman mechanism of death and destruction, wearing the face of their beloved child. The child whose death they may have already reluctantly, painfully, come to terms with, and long assumed to be resting in peace, awaiting a joyful reunion in Heaven. Why shatter such halcyon dreams, ruin such saccharine, sentimental hopes, false though they may be?

So I'll stay in the shadows, with the Agency, taking solace in the knowledge that for every terrorist whose brains I blow out, every mafioso whose neck I snap like a twig, my family will be all the more safe. I'll remain their silent guardian, their watchful protector.

A dark knight.

Nachtsider wrote:So I'll stay in the shadows, taking solace in the knowledge that for every terrorist whose brains I blow out, every mafioso whose neck I snap like a twig, my family will be all the more safe. I'll remain their silent guardian, their watchful protector.

A dark knight.

Always be yourself, unless you can be Batman... always be Batman.

Agreed, why take a pill when you can... have... a questionably gay sidekick?
Curse you guys for taking all the best batman quotes.

In all seriousness, I can't tell if Nacht is being serious or if he's trying to be lulz.

The only non-serious content of my prior post was the final two lines. Everything else is a sincere, philosophical opinion. I'm not just an Internet troll with a penchant for lulz, you know.

The fact remains that the girls are heroes. They have made Italy a much safer place to live in. I think more should be made of this; that their role as protectors needs to be emphasized.

Nachtsider wrote:The fact remains that the girls are heroes. They have made Italy a much safer place to live in. I think more should be made of this; that their role as protectors needs to be emphasized.

QFT!

Is this question open to our OCs as well?

May as well, go for it!

Well, both the Agency and my handler view me as a weapon. Sure, my handler cares about me as a person too, and many of the agents dote on me, but there's no ignoring the fact that every bullet I take fighting on behalf of my handler shortens my life span, that my life is in control of people who utilize me as a military asset, and that I may or may not even understand the point of what I do. I know the conditioning usually keeps the cyborgs from realizing all that, but if I had memories of parents who didn't make me sacrifice my life in bits and pieces, and who didn't make me spend hours at target practice, combat drills, and cardiovascular exercise, who didn't use me as a tool, I'm not sure I'd be oblivious to the difference between what my old life offered me and what my new life does. I believe time would have weakened my connection to my family somewhat, but I'd still care about them. Being an Agency cyborg doesn't seem so bad until you really understand what you're missing. That doesn't mean that running away to my family would solve anything, of course, what with the SWA very eager to find me.

If I did run I'd need to make sure I was as difficult as possible to track by camera or witness, and ideally I'd arrange for a bomb or incendiary device to destroy all of the Agency's records of my pre-cyborg life as I make my escape. (I have access to gunpowder, I could retrieve gasoline with some trouble, a kitchen timer and an ignition source couldn't be that hard to find, and between my technical instruction and what I've seen fighting terrorists I'd probably know more about making bombs than I do in real life.)
That action would do a couple things. It would degrade the Agency's information on my strengths and flaws. My fellow cyborgs would still know something about my weapons and general performance, and my handler would know all that and my temperament to boot, but more in-depth information (aka obstacle course times, hard stats on my accuracy at various ranges, the speed and precision with which I completed various combat drills) would be lost, and the operatives sent to capture me would need to depend on the memory of those who watched me in training and on missions instead of records to provide information about me. Destroying my personal records would be invaluable in the event I'm spotted in my old home town or neighborhood; the SWA wouldn't understand the significance of my whereabouts without any information on me. Besides that, without records on me the SWA has no idea who my old family is, and I like that state of affairs very very much. Finally, dealing with a bomb blast or a fire would be a significant distraction to the people trying to find me. Of course, if there are copies of my records on an off-base location then my vandalism would have little effect.
In short, I'd probably try to run away, but I'd want to be smart about it. Life at the Agency isn't the worst thing in the world, but it can't compare to having a normal family. That's not to say I wouldn't feel horrible about running away from my friends, all the agents who've been real nice to me, and my handler, who's also been nice and who I'm brainwashed to love. However, I'd also care about my pre-cyborg family and friends.
You know what? I just realized the SWA would have taken my NAME from me. That's creepy and invasive. I don't think there's any chance I'd stick around if I remembered my old name.
For anyone who's wondering, "what about the fact that your existence helps keep Italy safe," here's your answer. I never chose to be a cyborg. I don't want to work and die on someone's say-so. The government is a horrible organization for taking advantage of my personal tragedy to make me work for them, and I don't feel loyalty to an institution who would do that to me. Also, I'd want to be with my friends and family again.

Dang, when I asked El Conservatore if this question could apply to our OCs I hadn't thought it through.
When I did think about it, I realized this question doesn't apply. I'm such a dumb-ass!
My 1st fratello:
Salvatore und Helen. Adoption center burnt down. The cyborg effectively has no parents, hence none to remember.... Crap.
2nd: Same deal! Ayden is a synthetic creation of a modified nano vat.
Conditioning drugs don't affect her, but the only one she can remember are the thoughts of whom she was genetically patterned after and who is dead anyway.
Aw, crappers....
Betcha other OC fratellos have a far more INNteresting answer, though!

tremec6speed wrote:Betcha other OC fratellos have a far more INNteresting answer, though!

Well, my Mercedes ended up in the Agency because she tried to commit suicide a couple of times and her caregivers abused her, and Victoria's folks died in a car accident.

J the Drafter wrote:
If I did run...

One problem. Without the Agency to give you your meds and service your cyber implants, you're screwed.

Nachtsider wrote:

J the Drafter wrote:
If I did run...

One problem. Without the Agency to give you your meds and service your cyber implants, you're screwed.

Oh, right. Thanks.