Cyborgs down under

As you may have gathered from the description, I have some ideas for a new fic. The gist of it is a high ranking Padania member has run off to Australia. He's already been eliminated several times in Italy, and each time it was a double, and then he runs and gets plastic surgery. Just prior to going dark (persumed dead), a ***(wherever 'Sandro used to work before the SWA, I forget the name) agent sends a message saying that several of the Fratelli are known to the high ranking memeber, and that he is running to Australia (because he's the cowardly anarchist kind of guy). Th eonly two Fratelli that aren't compromised are Andromeda/Victoria, and Barry/Mercedes. Due to the high priority of the target, both Fratelli are dispatched to Australia after the Director has managed to broker a deal with Azio to allow them to bring weapons into the country. The Fratelli find themselves in a small outback town in the middle of nowhere, the sort of town where everybody knows everybody, and your neighbors know when you're taking a dump.

Might take me a while to actually start writing this story as I'm working on some SW stuff at the momment, but I look foward to feedback. And the name of wherever 'Sandro used to work. Internal Affairs or something like that?

Sounds cool, a small town where everybody knows everybody else could make things hard for the fratello if those folks favor the anarchists, I suppose. Look forward to reading it when you get a chance to do it.

tremec6speed wrote:Sounds cool, a small town where everybody knows everybody else could make things hard for the fratello if those folks favor the anarchists, I suppose. Look forward to reading it when you get a chance to do it.

Thanks man .

I was also thinking of the Anarchist having a daughter or something there, or at least being something similar to that, who Mercedes befriends. I can't have Victoria befriend her because... well... actually Victoria and Andromeda could befriend some blokes at the local pub. Yes, the complications are all comming together, mwahahaha! VIctoria begins to really like living in Aussie, and notes that she wouldn't mind living there. Andromeda, being one to put the cyborg ahead of herself, weighs the possiblity of running from the Agency so that Victoria can live happily on a station or something, but in her latter years when before she begins to deteriorate like Angelica. Speaking of whom, I hate that section of the manga because I got some really good stuff that I could write about my OC's reactions to that event, but don't know how to fit it in exactly.

Oh, so they're going to Canberra

Sounds interesting mate, I guess the question I would ask is how does this particular cowardly anarchist know of some of the fratelli? Is it as a result of the previous attempts on his life? Or from gossip through the Padania itself?

Either way, I'll admit to finding it difficult to suspend my own disbelief (which, to be fair, I'm very bad at) that he would know of everyone bar those two fratelli... unless they were only recently commissioned, in which case I imagine the SWA may have second throughs about sending them halfway around the globe.

Short version - perhaps a better approach would be "only uncompromised and available/contactable".


Also, I think you'll find it's "ASIO" not "Azio"... unless we all suddenly picked up a new accent so it was "Ze Auztralien Zecurity Intelligenze Organization".

Alfisti wrote:Oh, so they're going to Canberra

Only on their way to the out of way town in the middle of nowhere with a population under 100.

Alfisti wrote:Sounds interesting mate, I guess the question I would ask is how does this particular cowardly anarchist know of some of the fratelli? Is it as a result of the previous attempts on his life? Or from gossip through the Padania itself?

A couple of the more active ones through gossip, but I'm thinking most of them from being 'assassinated'

Alfisti wrote:Either way, I'll admit to finding it difficult to suspend my own disbelief (which, to be fair, I'm very bad at) that he would know of everyone bar those two fratelli... unless they were only recently commissioned, in which case I imagine the SWA may have second throughs about sending them halfway around the globe.

Short version - perhaps a better approach would be "only uncompromised and available/contactable".

I suppose, otherwise it would probably be Monty and Jethro who would get sent right? Plaese correct me if I'm wrong.

Alfisti wrote:Also, I think you'll find it's "ASIO" not "Azio"... unless we all suddenly picked up a new accent so it was "Ze Auztralien Zecurity Intelligenze Organization".

Ah yes, the unmistakable South African/Autralia accent. No, I don't think we changed, I just never knew what the acronim meant. Truth be told I'd only ever heard it said, so... yeah. I'll fix it.


I was also thinking that since no Fratello has ever been to Australia (with the exception of a couple of OCs perhaps), they get a real up-beat Handler from ASIO to take them to the town and look after them, etc, etc. Not only will she be up-beat, but so stereo typically Australian that its insulting to the most laid back of Australians. (and that's saying something).

Oh, and Alfitsi, would it be okay to have Monty and Jethro mentioned in the first chapter as possible candidates for the mission, but they've gone dark or under cover or something and so can't be contacted? They'll only be mentioned briefly, a couple of sentances.

Alfisti wrote:Oh, so they're going to Canberra

Alfisti wrote:Sounds interesting mate, I guess the question I would ask is how does this particular cowardly anarchist know of some of the fratelli? Is it as a result of the previous attempts on his life? Or from gossip through the Padania itself?

Claes: "Your flashiness has finally caught up with you."

Kara:

Destroyer of Worlds ;D wrote:

Alfisti wrote:Either way, I'll admit to finding it difficult to suspend my own disbelief (which, to be fair, I'm very bad at) that he would know of everyone bar those two fratelli... unless they were only recently commissioned, in which case I imagine the SWA may have second throughs about sending them halfway around the globe.

Short version - perhaps a better approach would be "only uncompromised and available/contactable".

I suppose, otherwise it would probably be Monty and Jethro who would get sent right? Plaese correct me if I'm wrong.

Oh, and Alfitsi, would it be okay to have Monty and Jethro mentioned in the first chapter as possible candidates for the mission, but they've gone dark or under cover or something and so can't be contacted? They'll only be mentioned briefly, a couple of sentances.

I actually didn't know if you were including J+M in your OC universe, but in my version at least they are the first port of call for heading to foreign climes... that said, they do have a habit of dropping off the radar, so feel free to make the mention if you feel like to clear them out of the picture.

I'll be honest, I actually have very little urge to send J+M to Australia, in part because I haven't managed to think of anything up their alley that would involve the trip... though Saipem is starting works on some of the APLNG upstream works in Gladstone, hmm...

Meh, certainly not in the near future at least, I've got another story arc to finish first

Alfisti wrote:

Destroyer of Worlds ;D wrote:

Alfisti wrote:Either way, I'll admit to finding it difficult to suspend my own disbelief (which, to be fair, I'm very bad at) that he would know of everyone bar those two fratelli... unless they were only recently commissioned, in which case I imagine the SWA may have second throughs about sending them halfway around the globe.

Short version - perhaps a better approach would be "only uncompromised and available/contactable".

I suppose, otherwise it would probably be Monty and Jethro who would get sent right? Plaese correct me if I'm wrong.

Oh, and Alfitsi, would it be okay to have Monty and Jethro mentioned in the first chapter as possible candidates for the mission, but they've gone dark or under cover or something and so can't be contacted? They'll only be mentioned briefly, a couple of sentances.

I actually didn't know if you were including J+M in your OC universe, but in my version at least they are the first port of call for heading to foreign climes... that said, they do have a habit of dropping off the radar, so feel free to make the mention if you feel like to clear them out of the picture.

I'll be honest, I actually have very little urge to send J+M to Australia, in part because I haven't managed to think of anything up their alley that would involve the trip... though Saipem is starting works on some of the APLNG upstream works in Gladstone, hmm...

Meh, certainly not in the near future at least, I've got another story arc to finish first

I haven't actually read that much of other peoples fics, but from what I have gathered about the OC 'cannon', J+M seem to be the guys to call for out of country work.

And I'm happy to include anyone who can add to the story or have it make a bit of sense. Makes it more likely that some on will use mine I think , and honestly, people are free to use my OCs if they wish, even if it's just for some red-shirts (unless out two timelines actually fit together somehow), but I thought I'd better check before using someone elses.

Destroyer of Worlds ;D wrote:I haven't actually read that much of other peoples fics, but from what I have gathered about the OC 'cannon', J+M seem to be the guys to call for out of country work.

Having had a shower (read "time to think") I should probably actually caveat that, because there's also Rusty Spring's Laine. The way I see it; if the SWA has a job which runs along the lines of "something's up, but we're not sure what... so take a look and decide on a course of action based on what you find"... then J+M are going to get a call telling them to take a detour from whatever they happen to be doing at the time. If the mission is more direct action, or likely to require more dakka than J+M generally carry with them, then Laine will be dispatched as first choice. Someone who knows the character a bit better than me can probably elaborate, but I get the impression Laine spends more time "on campus", whilst J+M tend to remain out in the world, chasing their own noses for The Agency's benifit.

Destroyer of Worlds ;D wrote:And I'm happy to include anyone who can add to the story or have it make a bit of sense. Makes it more likely that some on will use mine I think , and honestly, people are free to use my OCs if they wish, even if it's just for some red-shirts (unless out two timelines actually fit together somehow), but I thought I'd better check before using someone elses.

I tend to take the view that, unless it's a very minor role, or you have something of an understanding with the author, then it's good manners to ask first. Personally, if one of my characters is going to have a larger part or a speaking role, I'd prefer if said author ran the section past me before hand (if only because a lot of their personality happens inside their own heads, so they can be a bit difficult), but people's approaches differ.

Alfisti wrote:

Destroyer of Worlds ;D wrote:I haven't actually read that much of other peoples fics, but from what I have gathered about the OC 'cannon', J+M seem to be the guys to call for out of country work.

Having had a shower (read "time to think") I should probably actually caveat that, because there's also Rusty Spring's Laine. The way I see it; if the SWA has a job which runs along the lines of "something's up, but we're not sure what... so take a look and decide on a course of action based on what you find"... then J+M are going to get a call telling them to take a detour from whatever they happen to be doing at the time. If the mission is more direct action, or likely to require more dakka than J+M generally carry with them, then Laine will be dispatched as first choice. Someone who knows the character a bit better than me can probably elaborate, but I get the impression Laine spends more time "on campus", whilst J+M tend to remain out in the world, chasing their own noses for The Agency's benifit.

I wouldn't consider it direct since they have to figure out who the guy is and do some investigating.

Alfisti wrote:

Destroyer of Worlds ;D wrote:And I'm happy to include anyone who can add to the story or have it make a bit of sense. Makes it more likely that some on will use mine I think , and honestly, people are free to use my OCs if they wish, even if it's just for some red-shirts (unless out two timelines actually fit together somehow), but I thought I'd better check before using someone elses.

I tend to take the view that, unless it's a very minor role, or you have something of an understanding with the author, then it's good manners to ask first. Personally, if one of my characters is going to have a larger part or a speaking role, I'd prefer if said author ran the section past me before hand (if only because a lot of their personality happens inside their own heads, so they can be a bit difficult), but people's approaches differ.

They won't be given any lines. The bit will basically go along these sort of lines...

Jean: "Blah. blah, blah Andromeda and Barry will be going after him, an ASIO Handler will meet you at-"
Barry: "Wouldn't Jethro and Monty be better suited for this sort of thing?"
Jean: "Normally, yes, however they've dropped off the grid, so you're up. Now like I was saying..."

And that's the extent of J+M's apearance.

Hm, Brian actually has relatives that live down under... So if there is a couple in their fifties/sixties cruising around in a Ferrari 365 Daytona or a Triumph T140W with a sidecar with New South Wales registration, that's likely Seamus and Vicki McDonnell.

Must it really be a Padania person? Why not someone else?

I'm sick and tired of hearing Padania this and Padania that.

MP5 wrote:Hm, Brian actually has relatives that live down under... So if there is a couple in their fifties/sixties cruising around in a Ferrari 365 Daytona or a Triumph T140W with a sidecar with New South Wales registration, that's likely Seamus and Vicki McDonnell.

Gah, darn New South Welsh (I think that's the term), as bad as Victorian's sometimes.

Nachtsider wrote:Must it really be a Padania person? Why not someone else?

I'm sick and tired of hearing Padania this and Padania that.

I'm begining to think you have some sort of vendetta against the main antagonists of any series. Normally I'd be willing to have another organisation doing stuff (that's why I came up with the IRL(Islamic Rights Lobby) and the yet to be introduced Modern Templars), but for once, I think it actually does have to be a Padania member. If it were a high level Mafia boss a member of the IRL who would cause trouble for any non-muslim districts, or a member of Modern Templars who would cause trouble for all the non-catholic areas, ASIO, Star Faroce, or in an extreme case the SAS would take them out. By having them a member of a terrorist organisation such as the FRF whose sole concern is Italy, it gives a logical reason for the Australian government to get involved as little as possible, lest an international incident be caused, since all the Padania bosses seem to be fairly wealthy and a couple of them are plain anarchists, and won't take kindly to finding out another govenment is getting involved.

Unless someone else can think of another organisation that they Australian government wouldn't touch with a ten metre stick that it seems logical to send two fratelli after?

Nachtsider wrote:Must it really be a Padania person? Why not someone else?

I'm sick and tired of hearing Padania this and Padania that.

I'll be honest with you mate, I'm of pretty much the exact opposite opinion. To me, half the fun of writing fan fiction is trying to create something believable and interesting within the context and constraints (or at least within a logical extension thereof) set down by the original work; which includes the bad guys. That doesn't mean the enemy of the day has to be the Padania (or mafia, or cammora or whatever), but I always prefer it if they are somehow linked back to the SWA's standing canon fights.

If I'm truthful, I actually tend to loose interest if the story doesn't somehow make that link. If I'm going to read something completely different, then I'll go find some original fiction.

Still, different strokes right?

Alfisti wrote:

Nachtsider wrote:Must it really be a Padania person? Why not someone else?

I'm sick and tired of hearing Padania this and Padania that.

I'll be honest with you mate, I'm of pretty much the exact opposite opinion. To me, half the fun of writing fan fiction is trying to create something believable and interesting within the context and constraints (or at least within a logical extension thereof) set down by the original work; which includes the bad guys. That doesn't mean the enemy of the day has to be the Padania (or mafia, or cammora or whatever), but I always prefer it if they are somehow linked back to the SWA's standing canon fights.

If I'm truthful, I actually tend to loose interest if the story doesn't somehow make that link. If I'm going to read something completely different, then I'll go find some original fiction.

Still, different strokes right?

So... say the Padania, IRL, and modern Templars were fighting amoungst eachother as well as the government, you'd still read that sort of thing sicne the Padania are still involved somehow?

Destroyer of Worlds ;D wrote:So... say the Padania, IRL, and modern Templars were fighting amoungst eachother as well as the government, you'd still read that sort of thing sicne the Padania are still involved somehow?

Well, two out of three I don't know who they are... and even Meatloaf would agree those weren't good numbers.

I would probably struggle, but it would likely be something which fell into the category of "depends on how well it was executed". If the new organisations have something interesting to add to the story, then I would be more likely to read... but if it's just introducing new enemies for the sake of introducing new enemies then I tend to switch off. It doesn't help that I'm a bit like Nacht and the Padania when it comes to Islamic terrorist groups, I'm bored of it already... especially since many seem to be written along the "Durka Durka Muhammad Jihad" lines with little about them to hold the reader's interest except as mooks to be mown down by the protagonist of the day.

I'll stop there. At the end of the day though, it's all personal opinion... people take it or leave it as they see fit. I'm sure stuff I do bores people to tears or drives them up the wall as well.

Alfisti wrote:

Nachtsider wrote:Must it really be a Padania person? Why not someone else?

I'm sick and tired of hearing Padania this and Padania that.

I'll be honest with you mate, I'm of pretty much the exact opposite opinion. To me, half the fun of writing fan fiction is trying to create something believable and interesting within the context and constraints (or at least within a logical extension thereof) set down by the original work; which includes the bad guys. That doesn't mean the enemy of the day has to be the Padania (or mafia, or cammora or whatever), but I always prefer it if they are somehow linked back to the SWA's standing canon fights.

If I'm truthful, I actually tend to loose interest if the story doesn't somehow make that link. If I'm going to read something completely different, then I'll go find some original fiction.

Still, different strokes right?

Yeah I agree that there must be some sort of strong connection with the core materials lest one drift into entirely new area with the only fanfic link being the name. (I'm exagerating and over simplifying to make a point of course) I struggled with Ayden for that reason, not being a cyborg but felt ultimately that once Mr. Aida created Gen 2 cyborgs it left the door open for me to expand on the 'new weapon for a new threat' premise. As for baddies, I believe one can play it a bit more fast and loose since terrorists are themselves quite mercurial in nature, hence my own baddies The Phalanx. As amateur techie anarchists, they stretch the definition of what a terrorist is, but since terrorist organizations sometimes overlap in who they are and how they operate, I figure it's all good in the end.

Getting back to DoW's idea, I'm liking it more and more. Perhaps a possibility can be that with the citizens of a particular location being friendly to the terrorists, more enemy agents can acumilate there until a real nightmare scenario occurs in which there it is in fact a virtual nest of terrorists and the town itself is a trap for the agents! Outwardly friendly but tracking and ultimately springing a coordinated attack on the unsuspecting heroes! Just a thought....

Enough with the talking and do the working!!!


It sounds good. Lets see how it gets done.

tremec6speed wrote:Getting back to DoW's idea, I'm liking it more and
more. Perhaps a possibility can be that with the citizens of a
particular location being friendly to the terrorists, more enemy agents
can acumilate there until a real nightmare scenario occurs in which
there it is in fact a virtual nest of terrorists and the town itself is a
trap for the agents! Outwardly friendly but tracking and ultimately
springing a coordinated attack on the unsuspecting heroes! Just a
thought....

Hmm not quite, I don't want to destroy the little town, hwere will the non-terrorist station owners go for their beers ! Seriously though, I was gonna have the terrorist dude quite the family man, and be quite prominant in the small community where a lot of people look up to him... or something like that.

ElfenMagix wrote:Enough with the talking and do the working!!!


It sounds good. Lets see how it gets done.

About the working, like I said earlier, it'll be some time before this one gets started since I'm working on some SW stuff at the moment, but felt I needed to get this idea ou thee and get some feedback so I can start it as soon as my SW stuf is done.

Alfisti wrote:I'll be honest with you mate, I'm of pretty much the exact opposite opinion. To me, half the fun of writing fan fiction is trying to create something believable and interesting within the context and constraints (or at least within a logical extension thereof) set down by the original work; which includes the bad guys. That doesn't mean the enemy of the day has to be the Padania (or mafia, or cammora or whatever), but I always prefer it if they are somehow linked back to the SWA's standing canon fights.

If I'm truthful, I actually tend to loose interest if the story doesn't somehow make that link. If I'm going to read something completely different, then I'll go find some original fiction.

Still, different strokes right?

That's the thing, though. It's not realistic for a counter-terrorist or black-ops unit to be battling the same enemy day in and day out. The team on NCIS: LA don't tangle with al-Qaeda terrorists every episode, for instance. Nor does Batman fight the Joker on every occasion.

Destroyer of Worlds ;D wrote:
I'm begining to think you have some sort of vendetta against the main antagonists of any series. Normally I'd be willing to have another organisation doing stuff (that's why I came up with the IRL(Islamic Rights Lobby) and the yet to be introduced Modern Templars), but for once, I think it actually does have to be a Padania member. If it were a high level Mafia boss a member of the IRL who would cause trouble for any non-muslim districts, or a member of Modern Templars who would cause trouble for all the non-catholic areas, ASIO, Star Faroce, or in an extreme case the SAS would take them out. By having them a member of a terrorist organisation such as the FRF whose sole concern is Italy, it gives a logical reason for the Australian government to get involved as little as possible, lest an international incident be caused, since all the Padania bosses seem to be fairly wealthy and a couple of them are plain anarchists, and won't take kindly to finding out another govenment is getting involved.

Unless someone else can think of another organisation that they Australian government wouldn't touch with a ten metre stick that it seems logical to send two fratelli after?

Dude. Dude. Hold your horses, man. I have nothing against the main antagonists of any series. All I wish is for them not to be overused, at risk of things getting stale. Also, see my response to Al.

I'm not at all sure why you'd want to restrict involvement on the part of the Australian government. From my point of view, at least, you're hamstringing yourself. Having the SWA collaborate with the Aussies to take down an enemy who's threatening both nations would allow for a lot of story potential.

For instance, you could tell the story from the point of view of an Aussie liason officer, assigned to work with the fratelli. We haven't gotten many fics providing an outsider's perspective on the SWA; I think this might be the perfect opportunity to do so. Perhaps the collaboration may result in Australia adopting some cyborg technology for themselves, who knows. The mind boggles; the idea mill is poised to churn out gold.

But eh, man - at the end of the day, it's your story. I'll still read it, though, don't get me wrong. Your work is good.

Nachtsider wrote:For instance, you could tell the story from the point of view of a...liason officer, assigned to work with the fratelli. We haven't gotten many fics providing an outsider's perspective on the SWA;

*takes out notepad*

Nachtsider wrote:Dude. Dude. Hold your horses, man. I have nothing against the main antagonists of any series. All I wish is for them not to be overused, at risk of things getting stale. Also, see my response to Al.

Sorry, man, I just meant it as a joke, I probably should have put the [ ] there, sorry .

Nachtsider wrote:I'm not at all sure why you'd want to restrict involvement on the part of the Australian government. From my point of view, at least, you're hamstringing yourself. Having the SWA collaborate with the Aussies to take down an enemy who's threatening both nations would allow for a lot of story potential.

For instance, you could tell the story from the point of view of an Aussie liason officer, assigned to work with the fratelli. We haven't gotten many fics providing an outsider's perspective on the SWA; I think this might be the perfect opportunity to do so. Perhaps the collaboration may result in Australia adopting some cyborg technology for themselves, who knows. The mind boggles; the idea mill is poised to churn out gold.

But eh, man - at the end of the day, it's your story. I'll still read it, though, don't get me wrong. Your work is good.

This sort of ideas stuff is another reason why I put it here a story before I intend on starting it. I'm not saying the Aussies aren't involved, it's just that considering how difficult this guy has been to kill in the past, Star Force or the SAS would be sent in as soon as the knew where he was, and that would be the end of it. There wouldn't be much need for the Fratelli at all then.
Basically the Aussie Handler chick who I'm thinking might be named Cathrine (A.K.A. Cathy) grew up in the little town and owns a station nearby, so she helps the Fratelli actually settle in a merge with the community etc, etc. SHe will aslo help with the assassination and disposal of the body, because they have to very carefull since they don't want it ending up on Nine News.

Nachtsider wrote:That's the thing, though. It's not realistic for a counter-terrorist or black-ops unit to be battling the same enemy day in and day out. The team on NCIS: LA don't tangle with al-Qaeda terrorists every episode, for instance. Nor does Batman fight the Joker on every occasion.

Well, to be honest with you've I've never actually watched NCIS, but I see your point... even in canon the girls are sent out to deal with the mafia and political assassinations. However the crux of the story is the fight with the Padania, which to me at least is part of the chassis upon which the series is built, so some recognition that its at least there is nice.

As I think I said to Destroyer: I think what turns me off half the time is just how badly the "new badguys" thing tends to get executed... I'm one of those people who has a lot of trouble suspending disbelief, so I tend to need a new player to be built up rather than just presented and a fratello sent running after them. Maybe its because I grew up and work in a world where everything effects and is linked to everything else... butterfly flaps its wings and all that... so I have trouble believing nwe big stuff can appear right out of the blue. Sure, it seems to happen even in real life at times, but usually even then with a bit of work its possible to go and trace back and find all the stuff you should have seen but didn't.

Either way, it's still something I just don't seem to dig. I generally try to read at least a chapter or two with an open mind but I'll be honest: I've generally wound up stopping rather than continuing after that.

Destroyer of Worlds ;D wrote:SHe will aslo help with the assassination and disposal of the body,
because they have to very carefull since they don't want it ending up on
Nine News.

It wouldn't wind up on Nine... that would be too close to reporting actual news for them.