New Years resolutions 2016

So I came up with this while on a 100 km bicycle ride from Dalat to Nha Trang in Vietnam yesterday.  Thus it might now be my best idea, but then you guys know me.  Now the idea is that we could discuss our New Years resolutions, and maybe help each other out a bit.  I'll go first since this is my idea.

In no particular order
1- get my weight under 230
2- start my masters in biology
3- improve my grading on student papers
4- start a real travel blog
5- develop my anime science blog
6- finish gunslinger girl world tour
7- go on a date with a normal person
8- do a triathalon
9- take a photography class
10- present at otakon or another summer convention

Lastly if this is a shit idea feel free to give it the axe

I'm with you except for #7.

Don't worry about then being "normal".

I recommend my late Uncle Marco's advice on women.
His words as best as I can remember them...

"Anybody can get laid for a night. The secret is to have confidence...and if you don't have confidence...fuckin hell with it, just fake it till you've made it like you don't give a shit about tomorrow and hit on every broad who isn't a 9 or 10. Why you ask? Because the more you go home with broads that ain't 9's or 10's, especially in spots where nobody knows you, the more likely the 9's and 10's are going to be all over you wanting to know why YOU, yes YOU, didn't give THEM the time of day; and you know what you tell 'em? This'll trip you right the fuck out, you tell 'em 'Well what you got other than looks doll?'...or babe...or whatever. Weird as fuck, but it works. Don't know why, it just works. Simple enough, right?"

"Now when you're looking to settle down, it's a lot harder and not from their end either. Criticizing and scrutinizing the shit out of everything and everybody and looking for the perfect person like some bullshit supermarket novel gets you nowhere. They calls those books junk fiction for a reason. Believe me, I know, I've been there. The fucked thing is that when you see how simple it is, is when it gets even harder and ain't that some shit, I'm tellin ya."

"How simple you're askin'? Basically it's like this and without basics you got nothin'. First, you gotta find a broad who you can get along with and especially put up with  because nobody's gonna be perfect, just like I said, there will always be a few things about 'em that'll tic at you a bit. Trust me if all you two's got is phy-si-cal at-trac-tion you guys are going to get real bored of each other real quick, and broads only got two speeds when they get bored, pissed off as all holy shit and depressed as fuck on their way to being pissed off as all holy shit BECAUSE they're depressed as fuck. Sounds stupid I know, but trust me, I've been there, and I got the scars from stitches to prove it. So yeah, find a broad you you can get along and put up with."

"Second, make sure she's legit getting along with and putting up with you. You know how there's deadbeat dudes? Well there's plenty of deadbeat broads too. Chicks who are only along for the ride, in it for the warm bed and the steady paycheck, you know. Because just like your abuelo, my papa said, life is a lot like pulling a wheelbarrow and sometimes you gotta get that fucker up a hill. If you're gonna be with someone for a while make sure they're going to either get beside you and pull or get behind and push and NOT just sit in the wheelbarrow wondering why we're going so slow. SO yeah, make sure she's legit getting along and putting up with you."

"How you do that is by paying attention to her. Pay attention to how she treats you in front of people SHE knows and you don't. How willing she is to meet people you know that she don't. How willing she is to try things you're into. How willing she is to include you in shit she's into. I don't give a fuck if it's...I dunno...fucking knitting or whatever...if she doesn't want to see you give it a try, even just for laughs, somethings wrong with that broad and you need to drop her quick. Like ripping off a band-aid, no reason to linger on it, just get it over with so you can move on and so can she. Oh, and especially, how she reacts when people talk shit, not funny stories or anything, but legit shit about you. The shit may be true, it may not be. But if she don't have anything to say when she hears someone talking shit about you and you ain't in the immediate vicinity to defend yourself, she probably ain't in it to win it."

"One guy can't carry a team to a championship, if that was true Jordan would have rings for his toes. The same is true when it comes to the relationship game. You both gotta be fightin for them inches or you'll sink separately. So you both gotta be in it to win it and you can get along and put up with her and she can get along and put up with you, you twos are gonna be in it to win it."

"As for everything after that...it all just comes to being good at sex...and you don't get good at it by not havin it so...if you gotta use beer money to buy some rubbers...do it because having them and not needing them is better than needing them and not having them."

And yes, this was an actual conversation that my Uncle Marco was suddenly inspired to have with me when I was 13 years old on New Years Eve.

Thanks for the advice Boomer, and I was referencing that insane Mongolian snookie woman I went on a date with last year.....