My Review of the Gun 25

(Credit to a friend of mine for the concepts, I just
expanded on them. Please also take note this is not meant to be taken seriously at all.)

Hello, ladies and gents, to JayBirdSupreme’s review of
the infamous “Gun 25”. For those who are unaware of its existence, I’ll give
you a little back story.

The Gun 25 is a rifle created by Arizona-based Layman Machines
Co. The company first started out making RC Helicopters for kids, but has just recently
gotten into the firearms business. How they made a leap like that I’ll never
know. Anyway, their first and so far only weapon is none other than the Gun 25.
It started development back in June of this year, with civilian use in mind. And
now it’s finally here, and Layman Machines was kind, or should I say, cruel enough
to give me a free one for evaluation. So I took it down to the range, tried it
out, and… it’s terrible.

Before we talk about the gun, let’s talk about the
owner’s manual. Right off the bat you’ll notice that the cover of the thing
looks as if some guy with awful handwriting wrote the words “Gun 25 Owner’s Manual”
on a piece of paper, had it photocopied, and stapled each one onto the front of
the book. Well guess what, that’s just what they did! And it’s not just the cover;
the whole manual is like this, a black and white, sloppily stapled together mess.
I couldn’t even begin to decipher what 90% of the words even said.

Moving on to the gun. I have to say that this has got to
be the ugliest firearm I’ve ever seen. It’s basically a blocky metal rectangle
with a blocky handgrip, blocky magazines and even a blocky trigger guard. The only
thing that doesn’t have all right angles is the barrel, which might I add only sticks
out about half an inch from the rest of the gun.

Now for the ammo. The Gun 25 is chambered to use .19 Layman
Special rounds, which was made for exclusive use with Gun 25’s. First off, why
did they have to go and create their own type of cartridge when they could have
just had it use a more common round, like the 5.56x45mm NATO? Even better, why
couldn’t they make the weapon compatible with both types? Well, I think I know
the answer to my second question: Because the .19 Layman Special probably has
the worst design for a rifle cartridge EVER! Honestly, these things have the
overall shape of a toilet plunger. The plunger’s handle is the bullet, and the red
part is where the casing with the gunpowder is stored, with the primer on the
bottom. How did they screw something like that up!?

Never mind all that, you’re probably wondering how well
the Gun 25 shoots. Well, after very briefly examining the weapon and ammo at my
house, I brought them down the local shooting range in my Ford Nucleon (best
car EVER) to test them out.

This is where the living nightmare begins. After I loaded
all the magazines, I went to stick them into the gun, and that’s when I
realized: This gun doesn’t have a cocking handle. So I set it down on the table
next to me and tried to figure it out. After staring at the weapon for a bit and
occasionally cursing at it, I decided to go and hit the magazine and hope it would
do the trick. I suddenly heard a “click” sound come from the gun. I asked
around to see if anyone knew if I did it right, and apparently, I did! That is
how you cock a Gun 25, by hitting the bottom of the mag until it works! Might I
ask what mad scientist came up with that idea? I want him dead.

One thing I took note of after that discovery is that the
Gun 25 often makes metallic rattling sounds when you move it around. However, I
was too focused on getting ready to shoot to pay much mind to it. I went to turn
the safety off, but noticed something odd. Unlike most guns, which have a
safety switch of sorts, the Gun 25 has a safety button. You press it once to
turn the safety off, and again to turn it back on. However, it doesn’t do
anything to indicate if the safety is on or off, the button is just gunmetal
gray like the rest of the weapon.

After that was sorted out, I took aim, and what do you
know, the gun has no sights. Nor does it have a rail system for mounting
sights. Lucky for me, some dude was kind enough to lend me one of those laser
pointer pens, which I duck taped onto the gun.

It was then the moment of truth. Would the Gun 25, despite
the flaws I’ve seen it have so far, actually make an effective weapon? Is the
end of humankind nearing? Is Alien 2: On
Earth an official sequel to Alien?
Do I think Dave Matthews Band is a decent band? The answer to all these questions…













NO!

Just as I started squeezing off shots with the Gun 25, sparks
started bursting out of the barrel. I jumped in surprise, but just not because of
the sparks, but also because there were spent .19 Layman Special shells falling on
my head. The same dude that gave me the laser pen walked over and pointed out that
the casing ejection port was on the top of the gun, rather than on the right
side. He then offered me a bicycle helmet to protect me from the raining
shells, which I accepted. Whoever this guy was, he was really cool.

With my helmet on, I continued firing the weapon. While it
was easy to control, not a single shot was hitting the target, even though I
was lining up all the shots with my improvised laser sight. Eventually the gun went
empty, and out of the 30 shots I fired at the target, only one hit.

And so I decided to call it a day and return home. How
does the Layman Machines Co. Gun 25 hold up? IT DOESN’T!

To sum it up:
Good:
It comes in a cardboard box, playing in which is much more stimulating and fun
than using the actual gun.

Bad:
Everything else.

If you are considering purchasing a firearm, DO NOT, I REPEAT,
DO NOT BUY THIS ONE. It’s without a doubt the WORST weapon I’ve even fired in
my whole life. In fact, I’d go as far to say that it’s the worst firearm ever
conceived by mankind.

This is JayBirdSupreme, over and out.

Perhaps this is sounding a bit harsh, but why are you making up something like this? Is it really necessary to get attention?

1:Layman Machine Co. is a Delaware machining shop.
2:They never made RC anything.
3:No one outside of Fallout3's developers would create a gun with those physical properties
4:IT IS ILLEGAL for a manufacturer to provide a firearm of any kind to a minor.
5:the inconsistencies in the "range time" account are staggering. Even assuming a gun that began design in "June of this year" was test-worthy, the possibility of others around you knowing whether you were operating a new-design gun with those characteristics correctly is non existent.

This wasn't even a good joke, Jay. I'm sorry I even wasted time on it. Do yourself a favor and start working on and refining a good joke for April fools next year.

maverick375 wrote:Perhaps this is sounding a bit harsh, but why are you making up something like this? Is it really necessary to get attention?

I just got bored and decided to write it up. I'm sorry if you didn't enjoy it. However, I didn't do it to get attention. I just thought that it was funny, and that I may as well drop it here to see what people think. If you did not think it was funny, that's fine with me. Every man to his own.

I realize all the points you made are true, but the whole point of this thing is that it's not true, and that no company in real life would produce and distribute such a weapon in such a way. Again, sorry if you failed to find the humor in it. I guess we just have different ideas of what's funny and what's not.

I didn't find it all that funny but it was a rather thurow review. Infact, I think it's a good idea to post reviews of weapons.

The reason I did not find it funny is because it simply does not belong in this forum. This section is for

General discussion of the weapons in the Gunslinger Girl manga, anime
and video games as well as those used in fan-created projects.

and while I suppose it could be considered a "fan-created project" in the loosest sense, its purpose is not information but simply to be a post.

Were this a review of a fictional weapon that is in someone's story, and were it done seriously, I would not have complained.

maverick375 wrote:The reason I did not find it funny is because it simply does not belong in this forum.

I see. Well, when I posted it I thought this would be the appropriate section, but if a mod/admin wants it moved, that's fine by me.