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Bad Ideas

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Professor Voodoo
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Post by Professor Voodoo Tue 5 Oct 2010 - 20:49

The cyborgs are pre-programmed to be experts in their particular fields, but that doesn't mean every idea they have is a good one.

Bad Ideas Marisa10
Marisa: Elio!  I swear, this will work!

Elio: (facepalm) Mari, just drop it...

Jean: Where the hell did she get that boat?

Ferro: Where the hell did she get a belt-fed machine gun!?


Last edited by Professor Voodoo on Tue 22 Apr 2014 - 22:01; edited 1 time in total
Professor Voodoo
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Post by MP5 Tue 5 Oct 2010 - 21:05

Triela returns from a training session with GIS for old times' sake.

Allison: Hey Triela, Welcome back!

Petra: How are the GIS guys?

Triela: They're all doing really well. I made sure to get some pictures.

Allison: Anything new with them?

Triela: Well, they're apparently trying out different techniques. they recently picked up some kind of idea from China... (she fishes out her camera and shows the image to the girls)

Bad Ideas Segway-anti-terror_684090n

Triela: Frankly, I don't think that's a step in the right direction...
MP5
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Post by Guest Tue 5 Oct 2010 - 21:23

LOL ROTFL

Guest
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Post by Robert Frazer Tue 5 Oct 2010 - 23:18

"Um, Avise, sir?"

*Avise looks over newspaper* "Yes, Agapita, what's the trouble?"

"No problem, sir, I've just been reading up on tactical doctrine like you told me to."

"Aha, very good. You need to ask me a question regarding it?"

"Well... make a proposition, if I may. You see, I've been looking at parachute regiments. They are still valued for their intense training which makes them elite assault forces, even though parachuting itself is obsolete."

"The Americans did a drop during Gulf Two, if I remember rightly."

"Yes, sir, but they didn't actually fight anything."

"Fair enough, well read. So, my dear, what beam of insight is going to revolutionise the strategy of our professional arms?"

"Parachuting can be difficult to co-ordinate and supply, but the principle of disruption behind enemy lines is sound and valuable. Soldiers are also exposed and vulnerable during the drop, as they discovered in Crete and Holland - even in Mogadishu, to use modern helicopters - so the real question is the speed of delivery, to strike hard and fast and leave the enemy reeling as they are attacked from unexpected quarters."

"I see. How do you propose to achieve that? The Agency is cutting edge but we're not quite at the stage of perfecting teleporters yet."

"If I can be allowed to be bold... well, it's something that I specialise in!"

Bad Ideas Human-cannon-big

"See! I can be even more useful to the Agency now!"

"...Yes, your thick skull is a positive bunker-buster."
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Post by Professor Voodoo Tue 5 Oct 2010 - 23:38

Robert Frazer wrote:Agapita: If I can be allowed to be bold... well, it's something that I specialise in!
Well, she is the agency's go-to girl for all your artillery needs.

Marisa: Hey, wait a minute! Who says parachuting is obsolete!?
______________________________________________________________

And in other news...
Bad Ideas 8f16c010
...all cyborgs have been formally reminded to look both ways before crossing the street.
Professor Voodoo
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Post by FearTheLASERFACE Tue 5 Oct 2010 - 23:55

Lol, Cyborg vs Car.
Winner: Cyborg.
FearTheLASERFACE
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Post by MP5 Wed 6 Oct 2010 - 0:32

Professor Voodoo wrote:

Marisa: Hey, wait a minute! Who says parachuting is obsolete!?

Kyo and Ryo (who are both airborne qualified and do combat jumps on a regular basis): Yes... just how is parachuting obsolete?
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Post by Professor Voodoo Wed 6 Oct 2010 - 0:51

MP5 wrote:
Professor Voodoo wrote:

Marisa: Hey, wait a minute! Who says parachuting is obsolete!?

Kyo and Ryo (who are both airborne qualified and do combat jumps on a regular basis): Yes... just how is parachuting obsolete?
Well, from a tactical/strategic point of view Avise has a point...on the modern battlefield it's just easier to bring in troops in other ways. Unfortunately, telling that to cyborgs who enjoy jumping out of airplanes is like telling them gelato is obsolete.

Henrietta: Now you're going too far!
Professor Voodoo
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Post by Alfisti Wed 6 Oct 2010 - 4:10

Professor Voodoo wrote:Bad Ideas Marisa10
Looks like something the A-team might have come up with...

Monty: I thought Alberto was MI6... not Special Boat Service.
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Post by Awinnell Wed 6 Oct 2010 - 12:12

Bad Ideas Drill-10

some of the cyborgs got ideas after watching McGuyver !
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wish i knew who put that in there, it wasn't me !!!!!!!!!!!!


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Post by zarien85 Wed 6 Oct 2010 - 22:32

Full of Win

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Post by FearTheLASERFACE Thu 7 Oct 2010 - 20:01

ROFLCOPTER! Mio Says Wut?
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Post by ElfenMagix Thu 7 Oct 2010 - 20:14

When Jean was about to tell Claes about Rabello's death, he placed this gun on her lap. Good thing she froze instead of using it...
Bad Ideas 2ka63cfad742
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Post by ElfenMagix Thu 7 Oct 2010 - 20:37

Some of the secrets of the SWA have to remain secret...
Cyborg #0341487512... aka "George"

Bad Ideas Baby%20gun

Lorenzo: When I say to get them young, Bianchi... I DID NOT MEAN TO GO ROB THE CRADDLES!!!


Last edited by ElfenMagix on Fri 8 Oct 2010 - 23:11; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : had to fix the image link.)
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Post by funkmachine Fri 8 Oct 2010 - 7:36

now cost cuting means that the air force get to fit self aiming guns
Bad Ideas Poses-soldados-graciosos-16
i hear that there saveing up to build a new steath fighter
Bad Ideas Poses-soldados-graciosos-18
and there testing new humve size fighter planes
Bad Ideas Poses-soldados-graciosos-17

but the army has it harder still no new humves or APCs,but i hear good things about the mounted.
Bad Ideas Poses-soldados-graciosos-06

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Post by Professor Voodoo Mon 11 Oct 2010 - 3:25

Bad Ideas Tank110

Allison: See, I told you I could jump it...you owe me €10!

Kara: No way! You had to land it successfully too!

Bad Ideas Tank210

Allison: You didn't say that. The bet was that I could jump it...you never said anything about landing it.

Triela: Has anyone given any though to how we're gonna get this tank back to the motor pool without any adults noticing?

Kara: Hmmm, we didn't really think that far ahead.


Last edited by Professor Voodoo on Mon 11 Oct 2010 - 23:55; edited 1 time in total
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Post by zarien85 Mon 11 Oct 2010 - 20:36

ROTFL

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Post by Kiskaloo Tue 26 Oct 2010 - 14:12

Speaking of bad ideas, let's hope for the Agency's sake that Allison doesn't come across last night's Top Gear Australia (03x02). Between the Race to the Sky hillclimb and Ken Brough's madly modified WRXs the hosts used to tackle the course, things probably won't go well once Allison says "so that episode got me to thinking"... Yikes!
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Post by SPARTAN 119 Tue 26 Oct 2010 - 22:30

Priscilla's latest creation:
Bad Ideas Weird-weapons-028

Also, something for Michele's plane collection: Japan's new F-X Stealth Fighter:
Bad Ideas Weird-weapons-113
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Post by Kiskaloo Tue 26 Oct 2010 - 22:37

"This plane cannot be seen...it has, however, picked an obvious place to park."

Nuke
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Post by Alfisti Tue 26 Oct 2010 - 22:40

Kiskaloo wrote:Speaking of bad ideas, let's hope for the Agency's sake that Allison doesn't come across last night's Top Gear Australia (03x02). Between the Race to the Sky hillclimb and Ken Brough's madly modified WRXs the hosts used to tackle the course, things probably won't go well once Allison says "so that episode got me to thinking"... Bad Ideas 66758
Argh, I missed that episode... got caught up at post-uni nibblies (sorry, but cheese platter and crackers still beats Top Gear Razz )
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Post by ElfenMagix Tue 26 Oct 2010 - 23:28

Bad Ideas 63571__468x_weird-weapons-060
Padania laughed when they heard the SWA spend Euros on 4-wheeled bicycles with mounted machine guns...


Bad Ideas Haka
Then they found out Triela would be riding that 4-wheeled bicycle.
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Post by Professor Voodoo Wed 27 Oct 2010 - 8:11

SPARTAN 119 wrote:
Japan's new F-X Stealth Fighter:
Bad Ideas Weird-weapons-113
Kiskaloo wrote:"This plane cannot be seen...it has, however, picked an obvious place to park."
They stole that idea...Wonder Woman has had an invisible jet for decades!

Bad Ideas Invisi10

Bad Ideas Invisi11

Elio has his own take on it...

Marisa: You know what would be really cool...if i had a dirt bike. I could use it on missions for recon and stuff.

Elio: I'm sure...well I already bought you a bike.

Marisa: Really!? Where is it?

Elio: It's invisible.

Marisa: You suck.
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Post by Robert Frazer Wed 27 Oct 2010 - 9:14

AVISE: (looking at the jumping tanks a few posts up) Ah... those were the days!

Bad Ideas Flyingtank

AGAPITA: So, sir, why do you make me run everywhere when you had a vehicle to carry you everywhere comfortably and sitting down?

AVISE: A very good question, my dear. You can have ample opportunity to reflect on it during your next ten laps of the compound perimeter.

AGAPITA: ...I should have seen that coming.
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Post by zarien85 Wed 27 Oct 2010 - 18:44

nice

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Post by Alfisti Sun 31 Oct 2010 - 6:13

Allison: Mr. Alberto! Mr. Alberto!

Elio: What is it Allison?

Allison: Come down to Q-branch, me and Fiona have something for you.

A short time later.

Allison: Check it out! Now you and Marisa will be able to get to your missions in record time!

Bad Ideas Image00114
Alfisti
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Post by Professor Voodoo Sun 31 Oct 2010 - 6:57

Alfisti wrote:
Allison: Check it out! Now you and Marisa will be able to get to your missions in record time!
Somebody needs to explain to Allison the concept of "hull speed." A long and lean hull can make better speed with less power than short & wide with...well...eight 250hp outboards.

Marisa: It may not make any sense, but it still looks like fun.
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Post by Kiskaloo Sun 31 Oct 2010 - 11:24

Professor Voodoo wrote:
Alfisti wrote:
Allison: Check it out! Now you and Marisa will be able to get to your missions in record time!
Somebody needs to explain to Allison the concept of "hull speed." A long and lean hull can make better speed with less power than short & wide with...well...eight 250hp outboards.

Marisa: It may not make any sense, but it still looks like fun.

Kara: "Mr. Alboreto, you need to understand Clarkson's Second Law of Power: More is better."
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Post by zarien85 Mon 1 Nov 2010 - 20:35

lol cheers

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Post by ElfenMagix Sat 6 Nov 2010 - 0:43

Rachel: Daddy told me to get back by 5:30! So Dont Get On My case About The Mess! I Made It In By 4:55!
Bad Ideas The_wreckage_after_a_wellington_pilot_crash_landed_4c95943f90
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Post by Alfisti Sat 6 Nov 2010 - 0:58

ElfenMagix wrote:Rachel: Daddy told me to get back by 5:30! So Dont Get On My case About The Mess! I Made It In By 4:55!
That's the only problem with gliders... you only get one shot at landing.
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Post by ElfenMagix Sat 6 Nov 2010 - 1:14

Weeks into their flight training, Cleas and Kara get their solo flight; Kara first.

Kara: Everything fine back there?

Claes: Yeah... :lol!:

Bad Ideas Chittock-pic2
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Post by Professor Voodoo Sat 6 Nov 2010 - 1:48

Careful Claes...I know from personal experience that the one in the front seat can easily make the one in the backseat barf.
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Post by zarien85 Sat 6 Nov 2010 - 20:19

nice

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Post by Professor Voodoo Tue 1 Feb 2011 - 10:35

Fernando looked into the option of getting a new 4-wheel drive Porsche Cayanne but eventually decided it would be too expensive.

His girls then took matters into their own hands...
Bad Ideas 928-4x10

Francesca: You know, I'm having second thoughts about this.

Rachel: Just leave the thinking to me, Einstein.


Last edited by Professor Voodoo on Tue 1 Feb 2011 - 12:58; edited 1 time in total
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Post by Kiskaloo Tue 1 Feb 2011 - 11:39

Kara: "The only decent-looking car Porsche ever made, and you two numbskulls had to do this to it!"
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Post by zarien85 Wed 2 Feb 2011 - 16:41

Good

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Post by Guest Wed 2 Feb 2011 - 20:42

Man thats like something right out of the Beverly Hillbillies.

Guest
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Post by MP5 Mon 7 Feb 2011 - 0:48

Presenting the most delicious weapon ever:

Bad Ideas Ba-k-410

Your eyes do not deceive you... that is an AK-47 made entirely out of Bacon.

More from Panric

Becky: Next time we have breakfast on the roof, Ma an' I are makin' one of these!
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Post by zarien85 Tue 8 Feb 2011 - 13:02

that is kind of cool

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Post by theprodigalson Tue 8 Feb 2011 - 13:18

zarien85 wrote:that is kind of cool

Sure is. Whats more - sustained fire can heat the barrel enough to actually cook the bacon. Then, when you pause to reload, take off a strip of bacon and give yourself a reload too!
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Post by ElfenMagix Tue 8 Feb 2011 - 16:45

You can always have something to match with the gun at Hats of Meat . com
ElfenMagix
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Post by Guest Wed 9 Feb 2011 - 13:03

Here you go. There is invisible car that remind me of Mermaidman and Barnacleboy's Invisible Boatmoble from Spongebob Squarepants.
Bad Ideas 3321_1

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Post by Schaschanist Wed 9 Feb 2011 - 16:24

i think this car really needs an invisible-mode:
Bad Ideas 1967_Mohs%20Ostentatiene%20Opera%20Sedan
Bad Ideas Mohs_New_Card
The ugliest car ever, a Mohs Ostentatiene Opera Sedan from 1967.


The Ostentatienne Opera Sedan was offered at a F.O.B. price of $19,600 (1967), had a weight of 5,740 lb (2,600 kg), and sat on a 119 in (3.02 m) wheelbase. Prices have also been quoted at $25,600. [1] Tires for the vehicle were nitrogen filled 7.50?x20? (USA). The Ostentatienne was powered by an International Harvester truck engine. Entry into the car was from the rear; solid steel side rails (designed to protect passengers during a crash) prevented doors along the vehicles sides. The Ostentatienne could be ordered customized to suit its buyer?s wishes; Ming styled oriental rugs, refrigerators and sealed beam taillights were some of the options available. Production is estimated at three to four vehicles per year.
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Post by Odon Thu 10 Feb 2011 - 22:17

When you absolutely, positively, have to get every handler in the Agency pissed out of their minds...

Bad Ideas A__MG_3394

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Post by MP5 Fri 11 Feb 2011 - 0:44

Odon wrote:When you absolutely, positively, have to get every handler in the Agency pissed out of their minds...

Bad Ideas A__MG_3394

Coincidentally, Allison bought one of these on the Top Gear Italy Road Trip.
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Post by WEBER Fri 11 Feb 2011 - 19:23

This is the worst Rolls i have ever seen.

http://www.topgear.com/uk/photos/rolls-royce-apparition-concept-spirit-of-ecstasy-100-2011-01-07?imageNo=0
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Post by Kiskaloo Fri 11 Feb 2011 - 20:54

That is a crime against aesthetics and legacy.

What worries me is that when Rolls-Royce released the 100EX Concept Car to celebrate their 100th Anniversary, they swore it would never be put into production, but a few years later we had the Rolls-Royce Phantom Drophead Coupé (sans the concept's V16 engine).

So I'm worried this piece of rolling feces might actually show up in the PM's motorpool some day. Smile
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Post by Professor Voodoo Fri 11 Feb 2011 - 21:18

Kiskaloo wrote:So I'm worried this piece of rolling feces might actually show up in the PM's motorpool some day. Smile
If I were a betting man I'd lay odds against it. Would Morgan try it? Sure. VW/Bugatti? Maybe.

But Rolls-Royce? Their buyers demand a reputation of stately conservatism and this certainly doesn't fit that description. Even the "wildest" Rolls model is pretty stodgy by mainstream standards and I doubt the company would be willing to risk its market image by putting such a thing into production.
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Post by Kiskaloo Fri 11 Feb 2011 - 22:35

Professor Voodoo wrote:
Kiskaloo wrote:So I'm worried this piece of rolling feces might actually show up in the PM's motorpool some day. Smile

If I were a betting man I'd lay odds against it. Would Morgan try it? Sure. VW/Bugatti? Maybe.

But Rolls-Royce? Their buyers demand a reputation of stately conservatism and this certainly doesn't fit that description. Even the "wildest" Rolls model is pretty stodgy by mainstream standards and I doubt the company would be willing to risk its market image by putting such a thing into production.

Very true.
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